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No Tears

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
indar
Posts: 1756
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:00 pm

No Tears

Post by indar » Tue Feb 11, 2020 12:07 am

Over the years I've received
the gift
of an automatic food processor
on three occasions.

One I re-gifted to a friend
the other two
sold at the neighborhood garage sale.

I can reduce 
a whole onion to mush on a hand grater
with my eyes closed
and not skin my fingers.






 

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re: No Tears

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Tue Feb 11, 2020 1:13 am

Beautiful, Indar.  

Food processor = life experience processor, I think.

I absorb this poem very well without the explanatory closing stanza.  Without, the poem opens in a better way, I think.  JMO.

Cheers.

T

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Colm Roe
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Re: No Tears

Post by Colm Roe » Tue Feb 11, 2020 2:33 am

Fab poem Linda.
I can identify.
Other people will always be a problem...regardless of their intentions :)
Never blame yourself :lol:

ajduclos
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Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2019 7:35 pm

Re: No Tears

Post by ajduclos » Wed Feb 12, 2020 2:55 pm

Linda  - how elegantly simple yet loaded.  Very nice.
Aj   

indar
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Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:00 pm

Re: No Tears

Post by indar » Wed Feb 12, 2020 6:35 pm

Thank you all for the read and your comments,

Tracy, I nixed the last S and, as usual, it seems truncated to me but I will revisit it later to see if the phantom pain has subsided. Most often it does.

Colm, as they say in the South: bless their hearts, they meant well. 

Aj, thank you for appreciating simplicity, I sometimes wonder if that tendency in my writing comes off as too plain.

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re: No Tears

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Wed Feb 12, 2020 8:18 pm

Indar - It occurs to me after reading AJ's comments and your response that I don't comment enough on what AJ calls the elegant simplicity of your expression.  He is spot-on with the emphasis on 'elegant'.  My opinion is the source of that elegant simplicity is the clarity of thought with which you write -- you know what you want to say, and you know how to use language.  Don't ever question that.   :)

T

Dave
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Re: No Tears

Post by Dave » Wed Feb 12, 2020 8:40 pm

Hey Indar
I am in full agreement with Tracy and AJ on this one and on your writing in general, which has such a warmth and generosity of spirit that any attempt to add unnecessary complexity would spoil its humanity. I agree too that the last stanza is out of line with the rest even though it would truncate the poem.
Dave
 

ajduclos
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Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2019 7:35 pm

Re: No Tears

Post by ajduclos » Thu Feb 13, 2020 12:55 am

Linda, I'm not much of a poet, but I do believe strongly that the writer knows what he/she is trying to say.  While the last stanza seems a bit "off", the author must ask him/herself what the point of it is.  The reader takes what he/she takes - the writer knows what is meant............... where the twain shall meet ends up the question.

Personally, poetry is art, an expression.  The artist puts it on a canvas/paper, and the viewers and readers view and read.

Love your writings... simple, elegant, straightforward.............

Aj  

indar
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Re: No Tears

Post by indar » Thu Feb 13, 2020 9:15 pm

Thank you to all for the kind comments and helpful feedback. I have now knocked off the last two stanzas and will do what I should have done in the first place---trusted the reader.

Matty11
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Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 2:58 am

Re: No Tears

Post by Matty11 » Fri Feb 14, 2020 5:05 am

I don't know what the original looked like, but the edited poem definitely resonates. A person has their ways. Being 'unplugged' keeps us human, individual. There is a resilience, toughness, learnt through 'hands-on' experience.

Should that be a full-stop after sale?

best

Phil

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