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Cling

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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Colm Roe
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Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:45 am

Cling

Post by Colm Roe » Wed Feb 05, 2020 3:11 am

Cling,
like 100% humidity,
it saps and incubates.

Separate,
in degrees,
some chosen, some not.

Unfair,
an after thought
to torture the just.

And then
the finales,
unfair and clinging,
separate

a blade so sharp
a blood too weak
to grip its edge.

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Mark
Posts: 376
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Re: Cling

Post by Mark » Wed Feb 05, 2020 9:28 pm

I don't understand the poem, all I get are fragments I can't connect from my POV, so I can't really comment. I do like the creative imagery in the last three lines.

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Colm Roe
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Re: Cling

Post by Colm Roe » Thu Feb 06, 2020 1:43 am

Thanks for your read Mark.
This needs to be fleshed out. I was about to turn my computer off last night and was compelled to 'put something down'.
Hope I can remember my intent.

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re: Cling

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Fri Feb 07, 2020 5:35 pm

I think you have the bones here, Colm.  I will await arrival of the meat.   :)

T

poet-e
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Re: Cling

Post by poet-e » Fri Feb 07, 2020 8:04 pm

Think humidity is a metaphor for ???

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Colm Roe
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Re: Cling

Post by Colm Roe » Sat Feb 08, 2020 1:30 am

poet-e wrote:
Fri Feb 07, 2020 8:04 pm
Think humidity is a metaphor for ???

We cling to life, like moisture clings to and is absorbed by us!

indar
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Re: Cling

Post by indar » Thu Feb 13, 2020 9:43 pm

I've commented on a whole bunch of poems currently on the board and I want to comment on one of yours but really Colm after reading this many times I think I've got it e.g. clinging like humid air is metaphor for pathological dependency---but oh wait---that's got nothing to do with death. So maybe clinging to life as a form of denial of death becomes as oppressive as air so thick with humidity one can barely breathe. But what's this about knife blades and weak blood? I agree with Tracy the bones need fleshing out

indar
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Re: Cling

Post by indar » Fri Feb 14, 2020 6:09 pm

Rereading this I wonder (to my unease) if its about taking matters into one's hands at the end. If I'm right, I disagree with the premise that the blood is too weak. Its something I think about at my age with all of the attendant fears of lingering on especially after its too late as when dementia sets in and especially after watching protracted deaths of 2 of my near and dear family members.

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Colm Roe
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Re: Cling

Post by Colm Roe » Sat Feb 15, 2020 2:47 am

Cling, to life
like 100% humidity,
it saps and incubates. incubates 'developing an infectious disease before symptoms appear'...Life :)

Separate,
in degrees,
some chosen, some not.

Unfair, unfair. A (to us) valid word we all use in protracted dyings. But it holds no real meaning.
an after thought
to torture the just.

And then
the finales,
unfair and clinging, This is kind of about how some families split after a death.
separate

a blade so sharp The actual death
a blood too weak Sometimes blood isn't thicker than water
to grip its edge.

I have to say, these explanations may not reflect my original intent.
In fact I'm pretty sure they aren't?
While I write (and I write quick) I'm in a moment; the next day I often wonder WTF?
Love your interps Linda; you have such a keen mind.
And while I'm not on the 'way out' at the moment, I do often think about having a 'kit'
to send myself off quick and kinder if things get bad :)

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