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Small Town Dreams & Those Who Live Them

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
indar
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Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:00 pm

Re: Small Town Dreams & Those Who Live Them

Post by indar » Wed Feb 12, 2020 10:02 pm

I read the classroom size as a realization by he who returned how small the rooms and halls were---perhaps indicative of how small the lives were in those earlier times especially in light of his further adventures in those many places. Sometimes that kind of disclosure can bring tears.

Tim J Brennan
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Joined: Mon Jan 22, 2018 7:59 pm

Re: Small Town Dreams & Those Who Live Them

Post by Tim J Brennan » Sat Feb 15, 2020 10:17 pm

indar wrote:
Wed Feb 12, 2020 10:02 pm
I read the classroom size as a realization by he who returned how small the rooms and halls were---perhaps indicative of how small the lives were in those earlier times especially in light of his further adventures in those many places. Sometimes that kind of disclosure can bring tears.

...all interpretations welcome, indar. Thanks for yours.

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re: Small Town Dreams & Those Who Live Them

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Sun Feb 16, 2020 3:45 pm

Just a brief revisit to my previous comment concerning this portion of the text:

and weeps at the size
of the classrooms, the narrow hallways. . . . 


I image the emotions involved.  Could they more felicitously accessed by this:

and weeps at the sight
of the classrooms, the narrowness hallways. . . .


Just my thought.

Again, wonderful poeming.

T

Tim J Brennan
Posts: 615
Joined: Mon Jan 22, 2018 7:59 pm

Re: Small Town Dreams & Those Who Live Them

Post by Tim J Brennan » Mon Feb 17, 2020 6:18 pm

Tracy Mitchell wrote:
Sun Feb 16, 2020 3:45 pm
Just a brief revisit to my previous comment concerning this portion of the text:

and weeps at the size
of the classrooms, the narrow hallways. . . . 


I image the emotions involved.  Could they more felicitously accessed by this:

and weeps at the sight
of the classrooms, the narrowness hallways. . . .


Just my thought.

Again, wonderful poeming.

T

Anything's possible, Tracy. But having trouble seeing "narrowness hallways"....

My POV concerns the size of the classrooms b/c not as many people can fit into them. In my mind that image needs to be there. I went to a very small school. To be picked "Most Likely to Succeed" didn't carry the same weight as a larger school and I'd like the reader to think about this image a bit, not the hallways.

Thanks for your willingness to re-visit.

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re: Small Town Dreams & Those Who Live Them

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Mon Feb 17, 2020 6:24 pm

Okay, I get it.  Thanks for the explication.  

T

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