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what the x-ray revealed

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Dave
Posts: 850
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 4:07 pm

what the x-ray revealed

Post by Dave » Thu Jan 16, 2020 7:37 pm

Original
Where the sun sets, Western enlightenment  
bathes Jesus's 16th century satins in a warm glow, 
 what we can't see is his Jewish nose beneath 
the perfectly rendered lies. Yet it is there,
an offence to the new and the rules of art. 

Revision


Where the sun sets, Western enlightenment  
bathes Jesus's 16th century satins in a warm glow, 
 what we can't see is his Jewish nose beneath 
the perfectly rendered Roman glory. Yet it is there,
[font]discretely lurking in the mask of history. [/font]
Last edited by Dave on Thu Jan 16, 2020 10:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Trish Saunders
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Jan 23, 2018 12:05 am

Re: what the x-ray revealed

Post by Trish Saunders » Thu Jan 16, 2020 7:49 pm

Some interesting word choices, the "nose" of Jesus -- ha! I have never really thought about that feature. Assume this is about the shroud of Turin.  There is a just a little bit of a lecturing tone to the last sentence  which I found just a little off-putting. "Where the sun sets, Western enlightenment bathes" is an interesting beginning. 

 

Dave
Posts: 850
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 4:07 pm

Re: what the x-ray revealed

Post by Dave » Thu Jan 16, 2020 10:02 pm

Thanks Trish and fully agree with your comments on the last line
Dave

Matty11
Posts: 489
Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 2:58 am

Re: what the x-ray revealed

Post by Matty11 » Sat Jan 18, 2020 3:24 am

Like the ironic use of enlightenment Dave and the update to Roman glory which adds another layer of 'lie'. The blunt offence in the original worked for me. Possible option -


Where the sun sets, Western enlightenment
bathes Jesus's 16th century satins in a warm glow,
what we can't see is his Jewish nose beneath
the perfectly rendered Roman glory. Yet it is there,
[font]discretely lurking, an offence to circumvent
even for Renaissance man.

best

Phil

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Colm Roe
Posts: 1391
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:45 am

Re: what the x-ray revealed

Post by Colm Roe » Sat Jan 25, 2020 3:18 am

Maybe the owner of the shroud accidentally put it in the wash, and, to cover his mistake, made a new one.
Or maybe the whole question is (sadly) moot!
That sun won't set for a while yet :)

Dave
Posts: 850
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 4:07 pm

Re: what the x-ray revealed

Post by Dave » Sat Jan 25, 2020 8:58 am

Thanks for the comments. Just to be clear, it was not a shroud but a painting and the image of Jesus with a 'Jewish nose' was indeed painted over to make him a middle European. Can't remember the painter but was one of those classic ones.
Dave
 

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