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Better Than This

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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Tracy Mitchell
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Better Than This

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Fri Jan 10, 2020 4:17 pm

~

      Better Than This

Monty Hall famously asked,
would you like to switch doors?

And that’s where the problem begins.
Statistically, it pays to change your mind.

Applies to 3-card Monte as well.
Choose one, then change your pick.

Tommy Lasorda was asked 
if in his wildest dreams he imagined 
taking his team to the World Series.

Monty said he’d like to be the person 
who brought Shakespeare to daytime TV.

Tommy replied that his wildest dreams 
have nothing to do with baseball.

Me? I’d like to write something
better than this. 








 

ajduclos
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Re: Better Than This

Post by ajduclos » Fri Jan 10, 2020 4:48 pm

Ha !!!!  Clever one, Tracy.  I love the loop-d-loops.  

If you spend too much time breathing cold mountain air this is what happens Image

Aj

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re: Better Than This

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Fri Jan 10, 2020 5:54 pm

Thanks for your reading and comments, AJ. 
I spent too many years not breathing cold mountain air.
There is a price to be paid for that as well.

Cheers.

T

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Colm Roe
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Re: Better Than This

Post by Colm Roe » Sat Jan 11, 2020 2:23 am

And that’s where the problem begins.
Statistically, it pays to change your mind.

I read about that stat...it's fascinating.
On a personal note, the problem is knowing when to change your mind.
I know too many people who'll never change...no matter how well
I (or others) try to convince them they're wrong (I only try when I know they are wrong)
I'm always open to changing my point of view if the argument is logical, and think that's
one of the reasons I'm quite a contented person :)

Monty said he’d like to be the person
who brought Shakespeare to daytime TV.

:lol: Like that's ever gonna happen!
Shakespeare is what it is...a torture they use in secondary school here :shock:
Peig was another book they used to remove any love of learning a language.

Love this quirky poem T.
It's sad, clever and very human.
The N (you) isn't like them...you will continue your stellar journey.

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Deb
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Re: Better Than This

Post by Deb » Sun Jan 12, 2020 1:26 am

Fun read. It ended with a chuckle from me. This also brought back memories. Remember Carol Merrill and the fur coats from Dicker and Dicker of Beverly Hills?

~Deb

 

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re: Better Than This

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Sun Jan 12, 2020 3:31 pm

Hi Colm.

You’re right, the Monty Hall Problem is fascinating.  The arguments contain oodles of statistical sophistry.  It is Alice Through the Looking Glass to apply to real life, but serious stuff does become apparent - when and why we change our minds – when and why we should.  I admire your disposition to follow the logic.  I am much more disposed to stubbornness.  I am too often a sucker for confirmation bias and narrative bias.  I am slow to reach conclusions and form convictions in the first place, so maybe I just feel too invested in my work product.

Thanks for engaging with this poem. 

Cheers.

T

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re: Better Than This

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Sun Jan 12, 2020 3:33 pm

Deb -- you have a great memory -- Carol Merrill!
Thanks for reading.

T

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Wren Tuatha
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Re: Better Than This

Post by Wren Tuatha » Sun Jan 12, 2020 7:20 pm

Tracy Mitchell wrote:
Fri Jan 10, 2020 4:17 pm
[font]~[/font]

[font]Hi Tracy. I really like this. It's got great things going on. Here are some thoughts for a future draft, if they're helpful. No attachments!--Wren     

 [/font]Better Than This

[font]Monty Hall famously asked,[/font]
[font]would you like to switch doors?[/font]

[font]And that’s where the problem begins.[/font]
[font]Statistically, it pays to change your mind.[/font]

[font]Applies to 3-card Monte as well.[/font]
[font]Choose one, then change your pick.[/font]

[font]Tommy Lasorda was asked [/font]
[font]if in his wildest dreams he imagined [/font]
[font]taking his team to the World Series.      good internal rhyme of dreams and team, not sure the rhythm is quite there yet. Problematic that Monty and Tommy sound similar and that you jump to Monty after posing the question to Tommy.[/font]

[font]Monty said he’d like to be the person [/font]
[font]who brought Shakespeare to daytime TV.[/font]

[font]Tommy replied that his wildest dreams      I think this is too vague, also repeating "wildest dreams" doesn't add here. IMO. [/font]
[font]have nothing to do with baseball.[/font]

[font]Me? I’d like to write something   I think it's too late in the poem to introduce an I, especially a self deprecating poet. I'd cut it, although the title works. No sacred cows...[/font]
[font]better than this. [/font]

 

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re: Better Than This

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Mon Jan 13, 2020 6:25 pm

Thanks for the good comments, Wren.
I think the poem needs to get bigger before it can get better.

Cheers.

T

Sharon Leigh
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Re: Better Than This

Post by Sharon Leigh » Tue Jan 14, 2020 12:33 am

Love it, T. Clever with the bite of truth to it also. It's enough to drive someone like myself nutty (I second-guess everything!) Great poeming, enjoyed this
"This creature of the poem may assemble itself into a being with its own centrifugal force."-- Sharon Olds

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