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Glove Box

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
Tim J Brennan
Posts: 646
Joined: Mon Jan 22, 2018 7:59 pm

Glove Box

Post by Tim J Brennan » Wed Jan 08, 2020 3:15 pm

After most of thirty-five years,
this is where you have traveled
to be with this woman, the accordion
folds spelling out the constants,
the irreversible:

all the orange peels tossed
from her window, your own nostrils
sweetened from the smell of her—

all the names of long-forgotten
cities, streets, cul-de-sacs
and detours—

plus all the rest-stops you have called
your own.

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Tracy Mitchell
Posts: 1632
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 10:58 pm

Re: Glove Box

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Thu Jan 09, 2020 3:45 pm

You bring the reader into this.  I very much like the gentle aroma-image in S.2 - locks the bond between two.

T

Tim J Brennan
Posts: 646
Joined: Mon Jan 22, 2018 7:59 pm

Re: Glove Box

Post by Tim J Brennan » Fri Jan 10, 2020 12:52 am

Tracy Mitchell wrote:
Thu Jan 09, 2020 3:45 pm
You bring the reader into this.  I very much like the gentle aroma-image in S.2 - locks the bond between two.

T

Thanks, Tracy.

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Deb
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Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2018 4:10 pm
Location: Southern California USA
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Re: Glove Box

Post by Deb » Sat Jan 11, 2020 10:15 am

I enjoy a love poem that doesn't drip the word, love.

S3 could be about me and my husband. The last line is golden. 

~Deb

Tim J Brennan
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Joined: Mon Jan 22, 2018 7:59 pm

Re: Glove Box

Post by Tim J Brennan » Sun Jan 12, 2020 4:11 pm

Deb wrote:
Sat Jan 11, 2020 10:15 am
I enjoy a love poem that doesn't drip the word, love.

S3 could be about me and my husband. The last line is golden.

~Deb

Someone told me once that a love poem should never use the word love in it. Not entirely sure about that, but, yeah....

Sharon Leigh
Posts: 222
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 11:07 am
Location: Midwest US

Re: Glove Box

Post by Sharon Leigh » Tue Jan 14, 2020 12:52 am

Captivating, honest, real. I love the orange peels tossed line, brings to mind the old wive's tale of tossing a complete peel over your shoulder and the way it landed would spell the initial of your true love (or was that an apple peel? No matter. The insinuation was there and appropriate in this love poem.) The poem's truth opens gently as its title. A superb Tim J Brennan piece. 
"This creature of the poem may assemble itself into a being with its own centrifugal force."-- Sharon Olds

Dave
Posts: 850
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 4:07 pm

Re: Glove Box

Post by Dave » Tue Jan 14, 2020 8:01 pm

Would just like to add my admiration and enjoyment of the poem. A fine romance. The only word that seems superfluous to me is 'own' since it simply repeats the sense of your without adding anything. The rest is great.
Dave

Tim J Brennan
Posts: 646
Joined: Mon Jan 22, 2018 7:59 pm

Re: Glove Box

Post by Tim J Brennan » Wed Jan 15, 2020 4:22 am

Sharon Leigh wrote:
Tue Jan 14, 2020 12:52 am
Captivating, honest, real. I love the orange peels tossed line, brings to mind the old wive's tale of tossing a complete peel over your shoulder and the way it landed would spell the initial of your true love (or was that an apple peel? No matter. The insinuation was there and appropriate in this love poem.) The poem's truth opens gently as its title. A superb Tim J Brennan piece. 
Thanks, Sharon. I will look up this "wive's tale"....love that kind of stuff.
 

Tim J Brennan
Posts: 646
Joined: Mon Jan 22, 2018 7:59 pm

Re: Glove Box

Post by Tim J Brennan » Wed Jan 15, 2020 4:24 am

Dave wrote:
Tue Jan 14, 2020 8:01 pm
Would just like to add my admiration and enjoyment of the poem. A fine romance. The only word that seems superfluous to me is 'own' since it simply repeats the sense of your without adding anything. The rest is great.
Dave

Thanks, Dave. Please suggest a different word to end this on. Would greatly appreciate it.

Dave
Posts: 850
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 4:07 pm

Re: Glove Box

Post by Dave » Thu Jan 16, 2020 6:57 pm

Hey Tim,
My bad - I meant this use of own - , your own nostrils - 
 

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