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A poem that lost its voice

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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Matty11
Posts: 1585
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:58 pm

A poem that lost its voice

Post by Matty11 » Mon Jan 13, 2020 9:34 pm

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Last edited by Matty11 on Thu Feb 11, 2021 2:22 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Tracy Mitchell
Posts: 3179
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:58 pm

Re: A poem that lost its voice

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Tue Jan 14, 2020 12:53 pm

Love this Phil.  
Awesome opening line -- so graphic.
S.2 L.1 -- delete "the"?  - just asking.

Cheers.

T

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Colm Roe
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Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:45 am

Re: A poem that lost its voice

Post by Colm Roe » Tue Jan 14, 2020 6:32 pm

That's a neat little poem Phil :)

Sharon Leigh
Posts: 272
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 4:07 am
Location: Midwest US

Re: A poem that lost its voice

Post by Sharon Leigh » Wed Jan 15, 2020 9:42 pm

Wonderful, kept wanting there to be some allusion to the waters being "shallow" too ;) 
"This creature of the poem may assemble itself into a being with its own centrifugal force."-- Sharon Olds

Trish Saunders
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Joined: Mon Jan 22, 2018 5:05 pm

Re: A poem that lost its voice

Post by Trish Saunders » Thu Jan 16, 2020 1:10 pm

Usually avoid poems about poems but I enjoyed this very much, with its brief, biting images. 

Matty11
Posts: 1585
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:58 pm

Re: A poem that lost its voice

Post by Matty11 » Fri Jan 17, 2020 8:35 pm

Thanks Trish, Sharon, Colm and T.

S.2 L.1 -- delete "the"?

Agreed T. Thanks for that.

cheers

phil

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