Chronicles

[Tim J Brennan]

I enjoyed the ironic humour of the last lines. The aspect of memoirs was less interesting for me than how one might set up such ironic commentary. The first half was too opinionated and serious for the 'joke' to work really well. As for memoirs, it all depends for me on how interesting the life is or was not the age.

Baffles me how you would enjoy something that was too opinionated and serious for the "joke" to work. Baffles me as to why you think it is a joke.  Baffles me as to what "...was not the age" even means.  

Thanks for your thoughts, Dave.  

[Colm Roe]

Are the spaces supposed to create longer pauses?

Are these stanza sized line breaks designed to create long pauses? 
Or are they a visual device used only when reading a poem, to allow the reader to find their own pace...or slow down?
I've seen them used before...but can't understand why   
 

[Dave]

I like the second half of the poem. It is clever, well written and contains a gentle ironic play on words that i enjoyed, namely:

'Wound up writing about God'
combined with
'God, they were good' .

The second half of the poem shows rather than tells.
I did not like the first of the poem, which unless i am missing some irony, tells rather than shows, featuring as it does opinion rather than any specific images. It is dry. Moreover, it is unclear why the N 'can't' write a memoir as age is not disabling in this case and because memoirs have little to do with age but rather are used to recall meaningful events as the second half of the poem ironically illustrates.
The placement of the word younger as a single word sentence does nothing to enhance itself or the poem, apparently even you can only guess that it relates to the following lines.
Finally, joke because the second half of fhe poem, which i think works well, works exactly as many jokes work, the last line representing a kind of punchline. However, the first half of the poem would be a weak premise for such a joke. I agree with Indar that it is a weak premise for the poem.
Naturally this is all just interpretation, impression and opinion to use and ignore at will. I hope the explanation is less baffling. Enjoy reading your poems.

[Tim J Brennan]

I like the second half of the poem. It is clever, well written and contains a gentle ironic play on words that i enjoyed, namely:

'Wound up writing about God'
combined with
'God, they were good' .

The second half of the poem shows rather than tells.
I did not like the first of the poem, which unless i am missing some irony, tells rather than shows, featuring as it does opinion rather than any specific images. It is dry. Moreover, it is unclear why the N 'can't' write a memoir as age is not disabling in this case and because memoirs have little to do with age but rather are used to recall meaningful events as the second half of the poem ironically illustrates.
The placement of the word younger as a single word sentence does nothing to enhance itself or the poem, apparently even you can only guess that it relates to the following lines.
Finally, joke because the second half of fhe poem, which i think works well, works exactly as many jokes work, the last line representing a kind of punchline. However, the first half of the poem would be a weak premise for such a joke. I agree with Indar that it is a weak premise for the poem.
Naturally this is all just interpretation, impression and opinion to use and ignore at will. I hope the explanation is less baffling. Enjoy reading your poems.

Well, I guess your brand of joke humor is different from mine. Thank you. 

[Tim J Brennan]

Are the spaces supposed to create longer pauses?

Are these stanza sized line breaks designed to create long pauses? 
Or are they a visual device used only when reading a poem, to allow the reader to find their own pace...or slow down?
I've seen them used before...but can't understand why   
  

I suppose I could ask you to define "pause"...maybe were not talking the same definition...but to me, the writer, the white space is there to show the hesitation, the N's reluctance (pick a synonym) to write the memoir. If L2 is removed, none of the white space is needed.  Which is why I said L2 needs to remain. 

Thanks for your thoughts. As I said, I like to be made to think about my choices. One other thing, I always get up, back away until I can't read the poem on the screen, and actually look at a poem's formatting before deciding on it. It works for me to see a poem as a work of art.  Love computers for this reason. Never did that when hard copy writing. It helps me to visualize things. To "see" the poem as something other than words.  The white spacing / line spacing was a conscious decision on my part. Not much different than shadowing or selecting that shade of red that best reflects attitude toward the subject. Something like that. I don't line space often, but here it works for me. 
 

[Colm Roe]

A comma creates a short pause, a period creates a slightly longer pause, a line/paragraph break creates an even longer pause.
The space between each line is the same as a paragraph space...a longer pause. I've seen it used before and it looked pretentious; like every line is so good we should slow down to appreciate the brilliance.

In this case there is a relevance attached to the breaks. 
Thanks for explaining your reasons for using them...and for making me think   

[Tim J Brennan]

A comma creates a short pause, a period creates a slightly longer pause, a line/paragraph break creates an even longer pause.
The space between each line is the same as a paragraph space...a longer pause. I've seen it used before and it looked pretentious; like every line is so good we should slow down to appreciate the brilliance.

In this case there is a relevance attached to the breaks. 
Thanks for explaining your reasons for using them...and for making me think   

Thanks, Colm. In my brain, there are many ways to look at things (two, at minimum, writer & reader). I admit I'm not a conventional rules, adhering kind of guy sometimes. I write and format to the beat of my inner poet. 

[Tracy Mitchell]

Hi Tim,

I enjoyed the progression of this poem, at bit disjointed, as it may be for a person hesitantly considering and rejecting the idea of a memoir. Then staking the story line. Visually, the short lines with double spacing did not add to the poem or to the poetic effect, in my personal opinion. Nor did they significantly detract - just perhaps made the text feel lighter than it needed to be. Unless that was the intention.

There is a lot suggested. Last 5 lines are stellar.

Cheers.

T

[Deb]

Weren't they just?



Good  ;)

[Tim J Brennan]

Hi Tim,

I enjoyed the progression of this poem, at bit disjointed, as it may be for a person hesitantly considering and rejecting the idea of a memoir. Then staking the story line. Visually, the short lines with double spacing did not add to the poem or to the poetic effect, in my personal opinion. Nor did they significantly detract - just perhaps made the text feel lighter than it needed to be. Unless that was the intention.

There is a lot suggested. Last 5 lines are stellar.

Cheers.

T

...definitely "light"...thanks, Tracy.