A drop of black ink
trailing a line north to south
down the barren page
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Driving in Winter
- avwhis6466
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Mon Feb 19, 2018 7:41 am
Driving in Winter
Last edited by avwhis6466 on Tue Apr 10, 2018 11:47 am, edited 2 times in total.
Re: Driving in Winter
A drop of black ink
trailing a line north-south
down the barren page
Nice. If you change "north-south" to "north to south" you would have the 7 syllables needed for a Haiku. Not necessary of course---just saying---
- avwhis6466
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Mon Feb 19, 2018 7:41 am
Re: Driving in Winter
Thanks, Indar. Originally had another word in that line and forgot to adjust the rest after the removal to make 7. Thanks for pointing it out!
Re: Driving in Winter
Love this -- I don't understand haiku, though I was once certain that I did. This poem has such a light yet deft touch I am now certain that I do not. Wonderful work. It makes one want to ponder.
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