Welcome to The Tangled Branch!  Join us.

Woody, Can You See?

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
Post Reply
indar
Posts: 3109
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 8:00 am

Woody, Can You See?

Post by indar » Wed Mar 07, 2018 6:51 pm

Woody, Can You See?
 
My lily pond scummed
with ash. I filled it in
and planted succulents.
 
It's not the threat of fire 
that lurks the background
of blue-sky days
but citrus groves dying
inland. Desalinization lulls,
it's a waiting game.
 
I'm older than Donald Trump,
(get your own while you can)
we'll both be dead
by the time oil floats
the water wars.
 
So why do I care what happens
to this land is your land..
this land is my land,
redwood forests, amber grain?
 
Maybe my eternal soul will see.
Wouldn't that be Holy Hell?

User avatar
Colm Roe
Posts: 2986
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:45 am

Re: Woody, Can You See?

Post by Colm Roe » Wed Mar 07, 2018 7:12 pm

Oh indy...this is fab.
This land will always be your/our land.
It's all we have; as long as we remember.
It's late here, but I'll be back.
Strong writing.
 

User avatar
Tracy Mitchell
Posts: 3589
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:58 pm

Re: Woody, Can You See?

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Sun Mar 18, 2018 10:18 am

I love this!  You present a strong Narrator's voice with plenty of perspective, irony, and a dash of sarcasm.  
Linking the N w/Trump is a fascinating twist.  No less depressing, though.

Your images are well formed and well regulated -- the pond, the citrus grove, the oil floating on water. 
The theme is strongly presented. I love the phrase "oil floats the water wars".  And we suppose they are coming.
Yes, what would Woody think.  
Great closing.

You are hitting your stride.

T

Matty11
Posts: 1826
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:58 pm

Re: Woody, Can You See?

Post by Matty11 » Sun Mar 18, 2018 11:52 am

Good question, good title, and good poem. Personally, I could have done without the Trump baggage, but I suspect that is just me!

best

Matty

User avatar
Mark
Posts: 588
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 4:19 am

Re: Woody, Can You See?

Post by Mark » Sun Mar 18, 2018 12:08 pm

Good honest writing, a gentle sort of slip-slide narrative that leads to a solid conclusion. I remember a bit of an uproar over Nestle being on track to bottle vast amounts of California natural water a few years back; wonder how that panned out.   

User avatar
Tracy Mitchell
Posts: 3589
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:58 pm

Re: Woody, Can You See?

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Sun Mar 18, 2018 12:56 pm

Matty11 wrote:
Sun Mar 18, 2018 11:52 am
I could have done without the Trump baggage. . . .
 
I think that every day.

indar
Posts: 3109
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 8:00 am

Re: Woody, Can You See?

Post by indar » Tue Mar 20, 2018 10:41 am

Oh indy...this is fab.
This land will always be your/our land.
It's all we have; as long as we remember.
It's late here, but I'll be back.
Strong writing.

 Thank you so much Colm. Forgive me for not getting back to you for so long. I felt uncertain about how this poem would be read and wanted to get more feedback---it took 10 days so now I can ask you what the actual physical land is worth once the oil rights, the water rights have been sold off and the right to self-determination by fair and free elections have been abridged in so many ways. And who is at fault? Does limiting water-use by putting out rain barrels and planting low water need succulents, plug-in cars, a couple of solar panels and desalinization plants just act as forms of denial and distract from the real issues?

Tracy and Phil, Thank you both for your comments. I don't see Trump/narrator as  causes but as different kinds of victims/symptoms. Tracy--as to your second comment: although I am trying to see Trump as much a victim of "evil forces" (said with tongue in cheek) as perpetrator I'm not doing very well. What is to become of us?

http://www.newsweek.com/race-buy-worlds-water-73893

Mark--I don't remember a dust up over CA water rights in particular but I know developing countries are selling theirs and will rue the day. Thanks for the read and positive comments

User avatar
Mark
Posts: 588
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 4:19 am

Re: Woody, Can You See?

Post by Mark » Tue Mar 20, 2018 11:44 am

https://www.desertsun.com/story/news/en ... 928071001/

As far as the presidency goes, the choice was between a catastrophe and a disaster - the disaster won.



 

indar
Posts: 3109
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 8:00 am

Re: Woody, Can You See?

Post by indar » Tue Mar 20, 2018 12:29 pm

Mark--your link bumped me until I agreed to respond to a poll. Here is another one:

http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-n ... story.html

User avatar
Mark
Posts: 588
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 4:19 am

Re: Woody, Can You See?

Post by Mark » Wed Mar 21, 2018 3:59 pm

Mm. I read that one too when i did my bit of mini-research. water is the new oil in a post-carbon world.

Post Reply