Keep it to Yourself

[Tim J Brennan]

 

Poem deleted

[Tracy Mitchell]

This so reminds me of a Lucifer narrative -- irreverent, bored with the tedium of eternity, laced with wit and irony and something somewhere on the sarcasm scale.

I am confused by the grammar of the last line of stanza six.

Just a thought -- last line of the poem -- how about "poem" for 'poet'? -- just asking. It works wonderfully as is, but I couldn't help rolling it around in my head for a while.

Cheers.

T

[Tim J Brennan]

This so reminds me of a Lucifer narrative -- irreverent, bored with the tedium of eternity, laced with wit and irony and something somewhere on the sarcasm scale.

I am confused by the grammar of the last line of stanza six.

Just a thought -- last line of the poem -- how about "poem" for 'poet'? -- just asking. It works wonderfully as is, but I couldn't help rolling it around in my head for a while.

Cheers.

T

If Lucifer were actually the writer, all the more reason to keep the poet in the last stanza, Tracy. I'm looking at the grammar in S6...are you referring to tense?

Thanks for looking in and commenting.

[Wren Tuatha]

My first thought is that I want this on a t-shirt or sign in my yard. So spot on! Then I remember the truth of the title. Sigh. Thanks for expressing this!

[Tim J Brennan]

My first thought is that I want this on a t-shirt or sign in my yard. So spot on! Then I remember the truth of the title. Sigh. Thanks for expressing this!

...and just think, I wrote this WAY BACK in March. Things have only gotten worse. Thanks for comments, Wren. Hope you have recovered from all the fire aftermath. You must feel like you're living through the Plagues of Egypt.

Stay healthy. Stay happy.

Tim

[Wren Tuatha]

 

 You must feel like you're living through the Plagues of Egypt. 

Exactly!!! I'm writing my thesis about Sense of Place and how we need to update it in the time of climate change. Then this happens. It makes my job WAY easier, giving future readers grounding in place (their own) and high-stakes situations, similar to wildfires and other superstorms. So yeah, Plagues of Egypt! But after a month or so of freakout for my personal survival, I'm digging in and using it! (My whittling poem over in Workshop is an exploration of Sense of Place.)

[murmac]

.

[Tim J Brennan]

blah, blah, blah,
bitty-ass, blah

sometimes, you think,
God must be exhausted
to swim another foot
with the stupidity

aces are wild, you draw
deuces & sevens—

hundreds of dumb-ass people,
your blood freezes tighter
these days

blah, blah, blah,
bitty-ass, blah

Lord knows
Jesus raised Lazarus
on this Sunday
only so he die again

don’t forget to tell your Daddy,
this poet says Hi over & over again.

Sounds like you’ve heard it all. Waiting for the heavens to open up and cure things. Quite a brave poem.

I don't know anyone who has heard it all. But thanks for your interpretation. All are welcome.

[Tim J Brennan]

This so reminds me of a Lucifer narrative -- irreverent, bored with the tedium of eternity, laced with wit and irony and something somewhere on the sarcasm scale.

I am confused by the grammar of the last line of stanza six.

Just a thought -- last line of the poem -- how about "poem" for 'poet'? -- just asking. It works wonderfully as is, but I couldn't help rolling it around in my head for a while.

Cheers.

T

It finally dawned on me what you are talking about by the last line of stanza six, Tracy. Thank you and edited.

[murmac]

.