Poem

[Mark]

.

Luminosity 

Sea-light draws me to the shore at dusk,
cycling down streets I’ve never been before,
petals below white villas stacked in avenues
green with velvet lavender and plumbago blue,
shaded bouquets unfolding the first scents of dew.    

I slither to a halt in scrunching shells on sand. Yes,
I'd seen the puff-burst sky wild with coral and coal -
but not this pearlescent ocean’s surreal iridescence,
an aquamarine glow between rock-black silhouettes
and evening’s indigo theatre, starring Venus Solitaire.

 

[Sharon Leigh]

So very, very beautiful, Mark. I can't get over how vivid it is. It's gently written, too, with a careful ear toward meter and sound. I read and re-read, found myself torn between wishing for a pic of the luminous moment (great title btw) and then just being satisfied with the poem and where it takes my mind.

The second S is especially beautiful. It glows. And I love the tactile crunch of shells on sand. Closing with Venus is fantastic.

.

Luminosity 

Sea-light draws me to the shore at dusk,
cycling down streets I’ve never been before,
petals below white villas stacked in avenues
green with velvet lavender and plumbago blue,
shaded bouquets unfolding the first scents of dew.    

I slither to a halt in scrunching shells on sand. Yes, < "Yes" here intrudes, for me.
I'd seen the puff-burst sky wild with coral and coal -
but not this pearlescent ocean’s surreal iridescence,
an aquamarine glow between rock-black silhouettes
and evening’s indigo theatre, starring Venus Solitaire. < just, wow. Lovely!

I can't find anything to pick at! Thanks for sharing it.

Best,
Sharon

 

[Marc Gilbert]

Sharon said it all and much better than I could. Sorry mate, nothing additional from me. This is lovely work.

[Catherine]

the puff-burst sky wild with coral and coal

I love that line so much !

[Mark]

Thanks for read and generous comments, Sharon, Marc and Catherine. The sea really does seem to have an inner light here sometimes and the sunsets can be ridiculous.

Mosselbank.JPG (71.47 KiB) Viewed 10638 times

[Sharon Leigh]

That's stunning, Mark. You're so fortunate to be able to see it in real life.

[Tracy Mitchell]

Very well laid open, Mark.  The language is rich, luxuriant without being OTT.  The soft rhymes are well apportioned, giving the piece an echoey feel. 

Nice couplet:  green with velvet lavender and plumbago blue, / shaded bouquets unfolding the first scents of dew.    I love how "plumbago blue" rolls off the tongue in its line. 

Here is the phrase that slowed my reading to a crawl:   this pearlescent ocean’s surreal iridescence, -- gulp. 

Cheers,

​​​​​​​T



 

[indar]

My aunt often said "look at that sunset--you'll never see another one like it". I especially appreciate those over the ocean--there probably is an explanation for the drastic way light can change from one sunset to another. I am still waiting to see the "Green Flash". Thank you Mark for sharing a spot-on observation of the ever changing, breathtaking display at the end of every day.

[Mark]

The camera doesn't really do it justice, Sharon, but yeah. Snapped it when i was working late one day. Sometimes the sky looks like candyfloss. Thanks for comments Ty and Linda - I agree that line is a mouthful. It was actually quite a a struggle getting everything more or less arranged in this one, written when I first got to PN. 

[midnightcandle]

One of the most beautiful poems I have read in a very long time. I'm sure there may be things that can be picked at by somebody of higher intelligence than me but as a reader it rolls gently along with sensitive and evocative imagery. For me it has everything. Thanks for sharing.

Daryl