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About the Woman Begging in ChinaTown
About the Woman Begging in ChinaTown
Can you keep a secret?
Have you ever felt as lonely
as I did the last time
I saw her?
Have you ever felt as lonely
as I did the last time
I saw her?
Re: About the Woman Begging in ChinaTown
It leaves it open for us to fill in the gaps.
A neat poem Tim.
A neat poem Tim.
Re: About the Woman Begging in ChinaTown
Crisp, incisive, concise.
Re: About the Woman Begging in ChinaTown
I dont seem very good at making you understand my comments but like a lot of your poems i find this has an ambivilent tension. In the case between the title and the content: the former promises a poem about a Chinese women begging and what arrives a poem about the lonliness of the N. A lot happens in few words.
Re: About the Woman Begging in ChinaTown
Dave wrote: ↑Tue Oct 09, 2018 7:31 amI dont seem very good at making you understand my comments but like a lot of your poems i find this has an ambivilent tension. In the case between the title and the content: the former promises a poem about a Chinese women begging and what arrives a poem about the lonliness of the N. A lot happens in few words.
I have no control over your expectations to my poems, Dave. I rarely make promises in my life b/c someone always seems to get disappointed. This poem promised nothing except a reader's interpretation. You seem to have one so I'm happy. My goal was to do it in as few words as possible.
Re: About the Woman Begging in ChinaTown
Tim J Brennan wrote: ↑Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:30 amDave wrote: ↑Tue Oct 09, 2018 7:31 amI dont seem very good at making you understand my comments but like a lot of your poems i find this has an ambivilent tension. In the case between the title and the content: the former promises a poem about a Chinese women begging and what arrives a poem about the lonliness of the N. A lot happens in few words.
I have no control over your expectations to my poems, Dave. I rarely make promises in my life b/c someone always seems to get disappointed. This poem promised nothing except a reader's interpretation. You seem to have one so I'm happy. My goal was to do it in as few words as possible.
For myself, I was wondering how the two question format was working.
Re: About the Woman Begging in ChinaTown
Four lines.
Many more than 4 layers of meaning.
I am not usually a fan of minimalism but I don't regard this one as minimalist.
Many more than 4 layers of meaning.
I am not usually a fan of minimalism but I don't regard this one as minimalist.
Re: About the Woman Begging in ChinaTown
Tim i had no expectations and therefore none were disappointed. I merely commented my perception. It was not a comment on the quality purely what i read. The poem is short and for that gets a lot in.