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Driving in Winter
Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2018 8:44 am
by avwhis6466
A drop of black ink
trailing a line north to south
down the barren page
Re: Driving in Winter
Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2018 11:37 am
by indar
A drop of black ink
trailing a line north-south
down the barren page
Nice. If you change "north-south" to "north to south" you would have the 7 syllables needed for a Haiku. Not necessary of course---just saying---
Re: Driving in Winter
Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2018 11:45 am
by avwhis6466
Thanks, Indar. Originally had another word in that line and forgot to adjust the rest after the removal to make 7. Thanks for pointing it out!
Re: Driving in Winter
Posted: Thu May 10, 2018 5:33 pm
by Tom
Love this -- I don't understand haiku, though I was once certain that I did. This poem has such a light yet deft touch I am now certain that I do not. Wonderful work. It makes one want to ponder.
T