The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Anxiety

I sit next to an elephant 
at the foot of Anita's bed.
An IV pole stands in the corner
like an imposter. 

The chest tube carries chyle (I didn’t 
know what that meant three weeks ago)
away from her lungs. The buildup makes 
her feel out of breath. 

Anita's language has changed, gone 
from mediastinal large B-
cell lymphoma, to chemo cocktail.
It’s a learning curve. 

The sun’s pale. Anita's sleepy.
There’s a lot she doesn’t know, like 
what if she runs out of paid time off,
will she lose her job? 

Lunch arrives. A woman puts it on
the over-the-bed table-
I don’t remember a ham sandwich 
ever looking so alive.

I like "Anita's language" very much. This is a great image coming from a "sleepy, drugged, sick" person.   Might be tempted to edit "has changed" b/c you proceed to tell me in the very next words.  

On a side note (and a LONG story short), my hospitalized mother's greatest fear was all the $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ she was racking up (ended up @ $750,000)...my dad would just laugh.  

Love the ham sandwich. Beautiful image. 

I have to complain about something so I'm going to tell you the title is boring and does little to help an otherwise great effort.  

 

The elephant at the foot of the bed tells us immediately about the real source of the anxiety---the subject no one dare approach--worrying about paid time off instead--conversing about treatments and procedures. The last line tells us about Anita's condition/appearance so beautifully---still not addressing the tabu subject straight on. Skillfully wrought poem dealing with an all-too familiar subject for many of us. Thank you.

I think another comment mentioned this, but the opening is fantastic, the elephant both indicative of the "elephant in the room" and of tender humanity in the show of caring this patient has already received. The poem is wrenching in its matter-of-factness, it truly reads genuine. I like the frequent inclusion of her name, it brings it sharply to the reader that this person in the bed is known and familiar to n, and loved. That ending packs a punch.

Tim- glad you enjoyed the poem. Now that you mention it, I think the title could be improved. I love that your dad laughed at the $750K knowing your mom was totally worth it. I've taken your suggestion to remove change. 

Linda- showing not telling takes oh so much practice- I'm happy when those efforts score a win. Thank you for reading and commenting.

Sharon- I'm so glad you enjoyed the elephant, ham sandwich and genuine tone. I helps to know the matter-of-factness worked. The poem is still a little clunky in parts but it's nice to know what works.