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Poem - The Arrival of Winter
Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 10:03 pm
by Bev
This was my experience living in South Korea. It was a new experience for me, having grown up in a coastal sub-tropical city.
The Arrival of Winter
Winter skeletons stand stark
against nature’s grey palette
only remnants remain of sultry summer.
Autumn’s ambient accents
were but an accident,
an avalanche of colour
so quickly superceded
by spindly skeletons,
beckoning grim reapings,
of
Winter’s Wasteland
Re: Poem - The Arrival of Winter
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 12:49 am
by Sharon Leigh
Beautifully painted. You have a natural ear. Just my opinion but you don't even need the final 2 lines, "of" and "Winter's Wasteland" , ends perfectly at "reapings", in this reader's view, anyway
Wonderful first post, thanks for sharing!
Best,
Sharon
Re: Poem - The Arrival of Winter
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 3:31 am
by midnightcandle
Agree with Sharon re the ending. Wonderful picture you paint Bev.
Re: Poem - The Arrival of Winter
Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 6:32 am
by Mark
Nicely portrayed. S1 is quite powerful in its way. An enjoyable read and a respectable first outing. Critically, you sail almost too close to the wind with the alliteration but it does work. I agree with Sharon and Daryl about the ending and would reconsider the centre alignment and italics.