The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

My PC is a patch-up of bubblegum and string
Creaky dial-up modem squeaks and squeals
And faints at a distant hint of lightning
My monitor needs a set of trolley wheels
Don’t mention updates or anti-virus
It will be quicker with quill and papyrus
The fuzzy printer’s on the fritz again
The manky mouse sticks now and then
A puppy chewed off an unimportant cable
When it rains a bucket crowds the table
The window screen lists a little bit to port
One buzzy speaker has come to naught
A silly spring in the ram-jam CD tray
Seems to have gone randomly astray
When I thump and bash the letter e
This is what I see - eeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Is this a silent scream by a vowel
Trapped in two-fingered typing hell
My farm computer is a useless dumbass
It writes crap like this for my poetry class.

 

Okay, so this is my test post in PYP. I have to say I don't like that there is no option but to have the title in the body of the page. I also don't fancy all that guff - name, date and time of post - hanging around under the title if it has to be there. I also don't seem to be able to create any white space between all that and the text itself. All bit of an eek factor for me - sorry.   

It's good fun, Mark. I'm sure I've owned this technological set-up and one point or another in my life.

The rhyming scheme drifts from an ABAB to an AABB after the first few lines and I think I would prefer it if it was consistent all the way through. Also, some of the beats are a little wobbly in places. Couplets like:

Don’t mention updates or anti-virus (10 beats)
It will be quicker with quill and papyrus (11 beats)

Might be smoother as:

Don't mention updates or anti-virus
It'd be quicker with quill and papyrus

Thanks for the read!

Yeah.

Well I can't blame my computer but you don't need to---got a good laugh from this one. Especially liked:

And faints at a distant hint of lightning

 

Not sure what you intended here based on your comments. It's funny intention or not, you seem to be unable to escape your own abilities:

aints at a distant hint of lightning

What a line! likewise:

When it rains a bucket crowds the table

It's a fun read by a damn good poet. Can't ask for more.

Ha! Now you make me want to write one about my geriatric phone

Good times. Thanks for the read

Best,
S

Before I even saw the author name, I knew "Escaie Goat" had to be by Mark

It reads well, and is funny. Have you thought of formatting it as couplets? I think it would work well as an animated poem