Re: Fade
Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2018 7:16 pm
Thanks all.
I know there's an 'ing' there. And it's a crime to use it.
The tree swayed, its gentle sway comforted me.
The tree swayed, its gentle swaying comforted me.
There's an 'ing' there, but I still prefer #2.
If a publisher said I could make €50 if I changed it I'd switch Yeah, I'm a cheap date.
And I know 'chance' is repeated; I think the second one shows that that specific morning was his last chance.
If a publisher....
So, I like it as it is, but the more I read your comments (like T's remove the 2nd 'chance' line) the more I'm inclined to edit it. But I won't for now.
One thing I discovered when I moved my 'Starting afresh' poem here, that I was more critical, and edited it...like I was submitting it for publication. So I think this is going to be a very good place for me.
And Linda,
I'd like to believe it's not a fluke...but give enough monkeys enough time
Enough about this poem!
I know there's an 'ing' there. And it's a crime to use it.
The tree swayed, its gentle sway comforted me.
The tree swayed, its gentle swaying comforted me.
There's an 'ing' there, but I still prefer #2.
If a publisher said I could make €50 if I changed it I'd switch Yeah, I'm a cheap date.
And I know 'chance' is repeated; I think the second one shows that that specific morning was his last chance.
If a publisher....
So, I like it as it is, but the more I read your comments (like T's remove the 2nd 'chance' line) the more I'm inclined to edit it. But I won't for now.
One thing I discovered when I moved my 'Starting afresh' poem here, that I was more critical, and edited it...like I was submitting it for publication. So I think this is going to be a very good place for me.
And Linda,
I'd like to believe it's not a fluke...but give enough monkeys enough time
Enough about this poem!