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Knob-Handled Pot
Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2023 9:42 am
by AlienFlower
This perforated two-handled pot
firmly seated up next to the fan
grows a vine. It glints waxy green
on hot days. Tentacles
weave spills
like locks from Rapunzel
all-the-way-down-to-the-sill
which I trim, so more will wind
through the clay holes
and off the cracked rim.
Knob-handled pots should be sus-
pending so smoke wends abroad
in all directions fending off wicked intentions,
too multifaced to submit
to my tending.
Re: Knob-Handled Pot
Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2023 11:52 am
by Mark
A wandering narrative that wends its way to a gentle conclusion. Multi-faced? Or faceted?
Re: Knob-Handled Pot
Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2023 4:57 pm
by Gyppo
Pleasingly visual, Jackie.
Gyppo
Re: Knob-Handled Pot
Posted: Wed Mar 15, 2023 1:31 pm
by Dave
Hey
A different subject. I found some imaging could do with more precision and some was interesting. Firstly, that pot was seated is an odd word choice. I am not surre the mixed metaphor/simile of tentacles and Rapunzel's hair work well here. Tentacles do not have the same texture or form of locks. I can imagine one or the other but not both. See no sense in the hyphens added to all the way down to the sill, which turn this into a noun. At the moment in any case you seem to be trimming the sill not the hair. Lastly, not convinced of the line break on sus--
Hope this helps
Dave
Re: Knob-Handled Pot
Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2023 6:34 am
by AlienFlower
Thank you Mark, Gyppo and Dave—always appreciate your comments.