The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Raw and impacting writing.

Hold me less precious in your hands
and see as awards this dappling, this graying
I have become.

Hi Jackie,

Stunning first line. I especially like the implied loss of a certain youthful preciousness that does not serve the individual as well as the more realistic way one is seen later in life. The graying one becomes--yes! Once gray, one is defined more by one's age, less by gender for one thing. 

I am caught however on the use of the silverback gorilla as the metaphorical victor over adversity (I believe that's the thrust of this write). It conjures up an image that seems somehow combative---or territorial more than expansive as the last two beautiful lines suggest.

Mark — Thank you for kind words.

Linda — I am glad to know the parts that work for you. 

Once gray, one is defined more by one's age, less by gender for one thing.

Yes, but more than that one is often over-protected from imagined harm. The elderly of any gender bear a lifetime of scars earned from achieving the best they can and N prefers they be left free, if they wish, to continue to do so until they are struck down. A silverback is male among the gorillas but here represents elderly leaders in any context.

I need to make my meaning clearer, I think.

Thank you both for your help.

​​​​​​​Jackie

Not sure how much clearer you need to make it, Jackie.
I certainly got the sense and intended shape of it; 'chest hole'...I see two meanings, but both work.
Sing it, Jackie...Grey Pride 
Nice write.
 

It took me awhile to come to grips with this one, but it was worth a few reads.
The silverback image holds well for the trevails of aging
and the scars of life.
An original look at this legendary exitance of ours.

Thank you, Colm and Eric. I'm glad the message comes across.

Jackie

As always Jackie, a freshness of approach, that made the assertions that more compelling.

Hold me less precious in your hands
and see as awards this dappling, this graying
I have become.

Yes, there is beauty in truth for both.

Give me space to open my arms.

I can hear the breathing in that release.

thank you for sharing

Phil

Thank you, Phil. I'm glad it has meaning for you and I need the encouragement right now!

Jackie