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Something

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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Eric Ashford
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Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2022 4:35 pm

Something

Post by Eric Ashford » Wed Mar 30, 2022 8:10 am

Is there fresh roasted coffee?
Is there warm cake for breakfast?

Yes, there is dark coffee, yes there is cake.

Did the small blue plate wash its face?
Does the buttery table
spread under the sun like a meadow?

Yes, the twinkling plate and the salty table
are laid sunny side up.


Are there rats in the walls?
Are there scurrying roaches?

One can ever be sure about such things.

Will there be work? Will there be words?
Will words hang in the air like china dolls?
Will their eyes be open?

Yes, there will be the happy and the sad,
and those that hang eyeless in-between.


Will there be something?

Yes, you may sleep or awaken,
while your body remembers what to do.
Yes, there will be something.



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Tracy Mitchell
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Re: Something

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Wed Mar 30, 2022 8:38 am

A strong ritual feel to this, perhaps even . . religious.  The give and take, question / response also has a hypnotic effect.  Child/parent,  servant /master --- penitent / pastor.  
Well grounded.


. . . those that hang eyeless in-between --


T
 

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Eric Ashford
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Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2022 4:35 pm

Re: Something

Post by Eric Ashford » Wed Mar 30, 2022 10:45 am

Thanks for taking a look at this oddball piece Tracy. It's one of my more abstract efforts.
This kind of stuff asks the reader to take the poem and find its meaning for you. Each person
will take some kind of meaning from it, or maybe not!
I wanted to create a mood of uncertainty and anxiety in this write and in that respect at least, I think I did.
Another sub-theme may have something to do with the creative process both its light and dark side.
Appreciate your feedback on this.

indar
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Re: Something

Post by indar » Wed Mar 30, 2022 5:02 pm

I very much like this. As Tracy says the call and response reminds me of the ritualized lessons from, for me, the Lutheran catechism that prepared me for confirmation into the church. 

There is a solid certainty to the beginning--yes food the way we love it, a tidy life. Then the possibility of rats is questioned and there is no affirmation in the response to allay the fear.

Finally:
Yes, there will be something.
while your body remembers what to do.
Yes, you may sleep or awaken,

Yes, but when the body is no longer with us to remember, that is the mystery that haunts.
 

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Colm Roe
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Re: Something

Post by Colm Roe » Wed Mar 30, 2022 7:04 pm

Questions for God; some strange, some universal...but all relevant. Love the title and pleasantly vague conclusion. 

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Eric Ashford
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Re: Something

Post by Eric Ashford » Thu Mar 31, 2022 7:51 am

Thank you for this response Calm Rose.

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Eric Ashford
Posts: 160
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Re: Something

Post by Eric Ashford » Thu Mar 31, 2022 7:54 am

Thanks for this feedback Indar, its an insightful reply to this write. I can but agree.

Marcomando
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Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2022 1:31 pm

Re: Something

Post by Marcomando » Fri Apr 01, 2022 1:37 pm

Enjoyed this and as Tracy says it has a ritualistic almost liturgical feel to it. Bravo!

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Eric Ashford
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Re: Something

Post by Eric Ashford » Fri Apr 01, 2022 2:53 pm

I appreciate this warm feedback Marcomando. Best E.A.

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