The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

You're given a regime
and concoctions 
with specific ingredients
to prolong what?
Time?

it doesn't belong to us.
And I'm fairly sure 
it surprised God.
I can hear Him ask
'Who the fuck ordered that?'

He's a cat you know,
likes the status quo,
exists within the light
where even the thought
of a single moment
stretches absurdity to infinities.

I am the Universe,
expanding, invading the pristine void
contaminating it
with stupid clocks
He will eventually 
dismiss with a gulp.

He'll belch or sneeze it all back though
another big bang, with
new people wearing altered protons,
and on we go
stringing out our importance,
but we're just 
a mild distraction
a plaything
an itch in his perfection
a strangely satisfying scab
He's become fond of scratching.

 



 

I read this as an exploration of human kind's insignificance and a playful exploration of the role of 'god' in all of this, with us as having no more significance than a 'scab' that s/he likes to itch, but suggesting that maybe we have a slight more importance than mere light or matter, but not much. You touch on some cosmology - like the 'blind watchmaker' thesis and some of the difficulties of infinity and a reference to the big bang.

S1 was a barrier to understanding, and after reading the rest of the poem, the reference to time makes sense and is crucial to the poem, but the 'regime' and 'concoctions' still escape me. If you could keep the reference to prolonging time in somehow, I would ditch the rest of the stanza.

I love the thought that someone/thing slipped 'time' in past God. That's a great idea. And a feline god, also makes a lot of sense to me.

My favourite lines

even the thought
of a single moment
stretches absurdity to infinities.

Thank you for the read.

bruise wrote: ↑

Fri Feb 25, 2022 7:28 am

S1 was a barrier to understanding, and after reading the rest of the poem, the reference to time makes sense and is crucial to the poem, but the 'regime' and 'concoctions' still escape me. If you could keep the reference to prolonging time in somehow, I would ditch the rest of the stanza.

S1, the efforts we 'endure', fitness regimes and healthy, supplemented diets (with concoctions) to extend our time here 
Thanks for the read and comments, much appreciated 
 

Contaminating clocks and we cause an itch so much for mankind arrogance...

If your interested...the theme for March is Time

http://www.snakeskinpoetry.co.uk/second.htm

muchly enjoyed

Phil

Thanks, Phil. Sure I'll give it a go 

Much to like in this one Colm. Sits a bit off with me however and it took me a while to identify what it is. I think knowing the mind of God in whatever sense, even that of humor, comes off as just a little (very little in this case) of a cheap shot. There is so much of importance being said about human subjectivity in this write it seems to me that that could be played upon to even better advantage if it was written as a conversation with god rather than these in-your-face (albeit insightful) statements about god.

Thanks, Linda. That's a great suggestion. What should I call it? 
Oh Jesus!
Well, Mr. Christ....

Thanks, Linda. That's a great suggestion. What should I call it? 
Oh Jesus!
Well, Mr. Christ....

Yeah! Just like that!

 

"He'll belch or sneeze it all back though
another big bang, with
new people wearing altered protons,
and on we go"

So like these quirky lines Calm Rose!

It has been suggested by some that time does not move, it is we that move creating our own entropy in
the one Eternal Instant. I like that idea.

A fun yet intelligent write.

Hi Colm,

Entertaining stuff. I liked how it ended. I'm tempted to suggest "Status Quo", not "the status quo"  .

Trev