The Fourth of July in Hensenville (America celebrates freedom)

[indar]

The parade is three blocks long put on by the town board.
Bicycles are crepe-papered with red, white and blue
wound through wheel spokes streaming from handle bars.
Riders show off moves they practiced all June.

Dogs wag the route in homemade costumes, hats askew
not certain their duty but happy to be included.
Miss Liberty and Uncle Sam stop to exchange
too intimate dog greetings amid laughter, whoops
and shouts of encouragement from the rowdy crowd.

High schoolers are bused to a nearby town
now that the youth population has shrunk even further.
That's where the real band is today. Some parents
made the choice which to attend; others will try to divide their time;
some families split between events as best they can.

The grade school band struggles to stay in formation:
two horns and a flute, one drum, tambourines.
An eight year old majorette leads the way
high stepping in white rubber boots, a red and blue
swimsuit with added tutu. She rarely catches the toss
but onlookers applaud and cheer her on anyway.
Some grab the rollaway baton to hand back to her.

A local hardware store distributes 4x6 inch American flags stapled
to sticks for the crowd to wave. They all do their part, exchanging looks
they say: what a a great day, perfect weather for this celebration,
how lucky we are to live in a nation where we are free.

******************************************************************************************

The parade is three blocks long put on by the town board.
Bicycles are crepe-papered red, white and blue
wound through wheel spokes streaming from handle bars.
Riders execute maneuvers they practiced all June.

Dogs wag the route in homemade costumes, hats askew
not certain their duty but happy to be there.
Miss Liberty and Uncle Sam stop for traditional (and intimate)
dog greetings amid laughter and whoops
and shouts of encouragement from the rowdy crowd.

High schoolers are bused to a different district now
that the youth population has shrunk even further.
That's where the real band is today. Some parents
made the choice, others will try to divide their time.
Some families will split up between parents and grandparents.

The grade school band struggles to keep in formation:
three horns, a bass drum, two snares, flutes, one triangle.
The eight year old majorette leads the way
high stepping in white rubber boots, a red and blue
swimsuit with an added on tutu. She rarely catches the toss
but onlookers applaud and cheer her on anyway.
Some even grab the rollaway baton to give back to her.

A local hardware store distributes 4x6 American flags on hand held
sticks for the crowd to wave. They all do their part, exchanging looks
they say: what a a great day, perfect weather for this celebration,
how lucky we are to live in a nation where we are free.


 

[indar]

ShortClip6/28/14 BATON TWIRLER, 4th of JULY PARADE,OCEANSIDE,CA - YouTube

[Matty11]

Hi Linda,
             Liked the sense of chaotic in the 'celebration', a contrast to the regimented 'perfection' of totalitarian parades. There is a freedom in that. The majorette was my favourite bit, the warmth and encouragement given.

best

Phil

[Dave]

A detailed picture of a town and a nation in flux and what can possibly hold it together. Ironically what holds it all together is not system and organization but identity and commitment.

[Colm Roe]

Nicely done Linda. Very patriotic and nostalgic.
So why does it remind me (at the end) of that scene from The Life of Brian when the crowd chant (in unison) 'Yes, we are all individuals!'
Don't mean to rain on your parade, just me always looking for irony in places it might not exist
Anywho, Happy 4th of July Linda

[indar]

Thank you all for your comments. I felt very torn as I wrote this one. The crux of the poem is in S-3:

High schoolers are bused to a different district now
that the youth population has shrunk even further.

There are small towns all over this country that are dying. With them goes a naïve idea about patriotism and freedom. Is the loss of these simple ideas a good or bad thing? 

But also Phil and Dave it just might be this sense of community and commitment that will ultimately save the day. There is certainly a sense here that America is at a turning point and could very well go either way.

And Colm you are correct to read a sense of irony in this one as well. Its Those rather insular communities that resist change in a rapidly changing environment.

[Tracy Mitchell]

This endearing snippet chronicles the last pathetic gasps of a culture now dead, for good or ill.  I don't recall who said - the future is here now, just unevenly distributed.  It clearly has not reached the community sponsoring this parade -- the last backwater. The details of the poem parody what the Fourth of July used to be in America.  Farm families would load in wagons and head to town for the celebrations. Following the all-town parade, folks would fill the parks for the afternoon speeches of the politicians of the day - mayors, legislators.  And for the pie contests, ice cream, and music. The games -- tug of war, foot races, three legged race (no Colm, not that), and head-to-head horse races. Each town had its own band to be proud of-- not high schoolers, but adults.   
  All of that is gone, even if the small hamlets and villages still hold tight to some remnants.  No high school band -- they are at a bigger venue.  The feature is the elementary school band, because, well, the town still has elementary school  The event is no longer a family matter -- they need to split up to cover everything.  Not flags draping the courthouse and city hall, but crepe-paper in bike spokes.  No Belgians and Clydesdales pulling large wagons and floats --- just confused but genial dogs in costumes. 

  I love the people and incidents you describe.  Heartwarming for sure.  Yet rather brutal in contrast to contemporary reality.  A large majority of the US population believe we are at a cross-roads.   I believe we do have the chance to reestablish community.  But it won't come on waves of crepe paper, or include WWI flag-waving, and it will not involve turning the busses around.  The past is not coming back.  I think the heart of it is the simple, genuine faith in community that this poem chronicles.  The suggestion is that we need to reinvent how we do that, or we won't be able to at all.

The text could use some serious tightening up in places, but its heart is vibrant and strong.

Thanks for posting this.

Cheers.

T

[indar]

Tracy, your review of my poem almost had me in tears. Definitely a better write than the poem itself. You are completely on target with what I'm trying to convey. 

I will continue to work on this one.

[Tracy Mitchell]

Indar -- don't underestimate.  There is so much in these details and in the progression.  I found the end terribly unsatisfying, but your characters and their circumstance struck a deep chord.  

After another couple of readings, I am not sure how much revision to suggest.  There is a genuine vernacular which is so theme-specific that you do not want to lose.  That said, here are a few things which occur to me --

S.1 L.4 -- execute maneuvers >> show off moves. . . ?

S.2 L.2 -- to be there >> to be included . . . ?

S.2:   . . .Miss Liberty and Uncle Sam are stopped by intimate
              dog greetings amid laughter and whoops of encouragement.

S.3 L.1 -- different district >> next town over . . . .

S.3 L.2 -- delete "youth" -- its the whole population in decline

S.4 -- I imagine one horn, four triangles and three tambourines -- attempts to involve those without . . . acquired proficiencies.  Just a thought.

S.4 -- Feels too long, like it needs to be whittled -- I think cut the last line, but not sure what else -- the details are marvelous, so maybe no further meddling.

S.5 -- most problematic.  Last line is clunker. And this is the crux -- are these folks pouring out their hearts in passionate love of the Declaration of Independence?  Or are they sharing the simple remaining traditions of a pleasant community/family get-together?  Are they trying to continue the practice of the customs of their way of life, as apposed to some political, ideological stand for freedom?   I got the sense that it is more of a "this is how we do this" sort of thing. Like a part of the collection of "this is how we do weddings, this is how we do funerals, this is how we do birthdays, and anniversaries and Thanksgiving and Easter.  I ramble. 

My thought is that this will ride on the last stanza.  Not sure if it should tell us what all of this means, but some additional trail signs would be welcomed.

Just my thoughts -- use or lose, take or toss.    


Cheers, Indar.  I love the focused expanse of this.  You are close to the heart.


T

 

[indar]

Well Tracy, here is an edit per your suggestions and a few other tweaks. I thank you for the considered thoughts on the need for tightening.

I'm a little stymied by the idea of trying to expand on the mind set of the crowd. My intention in the last stanza is to present the strained notion of "freedom" that is bandied about with a thousand interpretations and exploitations of an amorphous term the roots of which have been entirely lost (if you ask me). Maybe just introducing the word as it rings through the crowd is not enough. Should I describe the disembodied "HEAD" (as in CS Lewis' creepy book) of Donald Trump smiling down on these unquestioning but basically good folks?