The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Version 2

A little sun to warm the bench
and I'm set for the morning,
eyes fixed to west

tracing and retracing

the treeline above Cwmcroidder
as though securing a robe of sunlight
to the mountain’s shoulder.

Thirty years ago I planted the larches,
since perished, felled. Only natives now —

*aethnenni, helyg, derw digoes —

They will not slide, on this watch,
once more into the shade.


*Aspen, willow, sessile oak.


Original

A little sun to warm his bench 
and he’s set for the morning,
eyes fixed to west  

tracing and retracing 

the treeline above Cwmcroidder
as though securing a robe of sunlight
to the mountain’s shoulder.

Thirty years ago he planted the larches, 
since perished, felled. Only natives now,
he boasts —

 *aethnenni, helyg, derw digoes —

They will not slide, on his watch, 
once more into the shade. 


*Aspen, willow, sessile oak. 

Nice one Luke. Like the sense of connection and guardianship. My googling brought me to Cwmcroiddur for spelling:

https://cilycwm.com/?page_id=3786

Natural Resources Wales have been felling Larch around here - Cwmcarn and Sirhowy - I was particularly annoyed when - probably contractors - felled some Scots Pine (a fav of woodland birds).

Loved the robe of sunlight on the shoulder.

cheers

Phil

 

Really enjoyed this. Very succinctly and carefully composed.
Dave
 

I have had trees and forests on my mind since visiting the giant California sequoias this past week. I expected to come home inspired, uplifted by their beauty. But I was not prepared for the huge parking lots and regulated walkways to go see certain trees that are in many cases the lone survivors of early logging practices. I spend too much time being sad about such things of late. I believe its a world-wide sadness. Thank you for posting this.

Thanks all - much appreciated. Phil, you're right about the spelling error, to my shame. Ta.
L

I like this a lot.  Have you played with first-person?  It might make the feel more intimate.  Not sure if that would be what you want.  In any event, a nice poem

T

...securing a robe of sunlight
to the mountain’s shoulder.

 

Tracy, thank you. I hadn't considered it but I have now.. What do you think? I'm keen.

Luke

P. S - for version 2 I could drop 'Oswyn' from the title...

Luke

For first person, probably best Luke.