Bend

[Dave]

From my careless hand
a hundred year-old
white glazed plate
slips onto stone,
hard on hard, a crack
like a bone breaking.
Its two clean shards
reveal a simple truth.

Through the kitchen window
I watch the weather turn,
spin like a vane on a spire,
blue to gray and back.
One single rook clings
to a securely rooted tree.
That world bends and leans
into the coming history.
 
 

[indar]

Hi Dave,

I very much like this play of natural against manufactured (in the largest sense). In S-1 rock beats 100 year old plate. In S-2 the reader is told the significance/secret to this event. The analogy of the rook storm tossed in a tree is especially appropriate in this time and the reminder that the tree is firmly rooted, comforting. Love the last 2 lines in particular. 

[Tracy Mitchell]

Hi Dave,

I love the first stanza - superb. Great windup as well -- leaning into history to come.

A few S.1 nits:

From my careless hand
a hundred year-old
white glazed plate
slips onto stone,
hard on hard, a crack
like a bone breaking.
Its two clean shards
reveal a simple truth.

Just my thoughts.

Cheers.

T

[Dave]

Thanks Tracy
Good suggestions
Dave
 

[Matty11]

I like S1 Dave, all the details seem relevant: the act of carelessness, the fragility of the man-made object, the fact that hardness proves to be a weakness, that human element in the bone cracking. Shards is one of those words I have in my poetry diction to avoid list and I don't feel you need the pointer of those two lines because the contrast with S2 does the job, though as T. implies S1 could deliver by itself.

My problem with S2 is that I associate high winds with uprooted trees. Perhaps pick a particular species of tree that survives wild winds? I agree there are lessons to be learnt in nature.

cheers

Phil


A thought...

From my careless hand
a hundred year-old
white glazed plate
slips onto stone,
hard on hard, a crack
like a bone breaking.
Its clean hemispheres
reveal a simple truth.

[Dave]

Thanks Matty. I like hemispheres and can see the point about the tree. Will give it some thought. I don't personally have that image of trees being blown over but specifics in poetry is always good.
Dave

[Colm Roe]

Neat poem Dave.
I enjoyed the comparisons between S1 and 2. Hard, inflexible things break, chaos is everywhere. It affects obdurate people, unless their strength is rooted in something solid and true.
I especially like how the last 2 lines of each stanza connect.
 

[Dave]

Thanks for commenting Colm and glad you found positives therein.
Dave