Chilled

[indar]

Chilled

That black cardigan
has hung
over the back of my desk chair
for weeks--it needs
to be hand washed because
there's crusted
gravy dribble
down the front
from when I tried
to eat dinner 
in the recliner watching
cable TV but I've lost
motivation since
I said screw it
and turned up 
the thermostat:
who cares anyway...

[Colm Roe]

The lack of punctuation improves this poem, it allows me to get into the 'Why should I bother' voice; especially
on the 2nd and subsequent reads.
You tried, put on a cardigan, and could have toughed it out...but eventually said 'Fuck this shit!'
I love the honesty
But jeez Linda, you'd be dead in a day if you lived here
I really like this little vignette.

[indar]

Thanks Colm,

I love the honesty 
But jeez Linda, you'd be dead in a day if you lived here 

You know what I always say: Poetry is truth but not always factual--I've never tried to eat dinner in a reclining position. I have however fallen into some bad habits like turning up the heat because everything seems kind of hopeless anyway, like saving the planet etc.

I was born and raised in Minnesota, I doubt Ireland is ever as cold as on the interior US with arctic winds sweeping down through Canada without benefit of an ocean effect. I just asked Alexa what your forecast is for today but she didn't know
 

[Colm Roe]

It's a little 'warmer', it'll be 7C tomorrow
My comments were (of course) based on your poem and current location.
And the fact that you moved to California only proves what I said
And anywho, at our age we're entitled to a few dribbles...it comes with the territory

[Dave]

I enjoyed the poem Linda, even if it left me concerned for your welfare. You could trry dividing the poem into stanzas idf you feel up to it. Unlike Colm perhaps, it might work if it flowed slightly less well in keeping with the content.
dave
 

[Matty11]

Good one Linda, the fluidity of the read, the attention to detail. I presumed the cardigan was black to signify a 'living death'. The crusted gravy was an excellent image.

An alternative gravy perspective:

https://wordsfortheyear.com/2014/12/29/ ... nd-carver/

best

Phil

[indar]

I enjoyed the poem Linda, even if it left me concerned for your welfare.

Thanks Dave, but:



Really I am. I seem often to want my writing to reflect hat I call a "mindwhirl" of some kind of self reflection which leads to little organization of the writing. Maybe I should try to slow the reading of this one down--worth thinking about.

[indar]

Thanks Phil.

I like the straightforward kind of writing in the link you sent, Thank you. I have always liked the Hopper painting: Night Hawks that accompanied it. Good Gravy.

What Makes the Edward Hopper Nighthawks Painting so Recognizable? | Widewalls

[Tracy Mitchell]

Linda

I love the way this flows from beginning to end with one breath. The sight of the cardigan triggers the 'mindwhirl', as yo say, which this poem so succinctly presents.

Living alone, eating alone, left with cable TV, -- screw the sweater, I'll just turn the heat up. A letting-go, if for a moment or two amidst the chaos. Seems logical to me. This expresses in a nutshell what must be a pulse through current civilization. I wonder if there might be a down-tick of recycling, etc.

Crusted gravy dribble on a black cardigan hung over the back of your desk chair is by far the best image I have encountered on this site or anywhere else this past year.

So don't be giving us this gravy dibble about not being able to write, FFS.

Cheers.

T

[indar]

So don't be giving us this gravy dibble about not being able to write, FFS.

Thanks Tracy,

I have a narrow-lined, three subject, 120 page notebook right here on my desk loaded with false starts, great titles for which there is no poem, random rants and poor-me drivel (not to be confused with dribble). It has to be pretty bad when nothing can be gleaned from it but I tell myself "this too shall pass".