osteoporosis
made your mother brittle
her temper shorter
now you too
lose sight of certainties
balance close to dismay
even when your doctor
says it can be slowed
or held at bay
time was
you anticipated joy
then ease
now it is for life
to be bearable
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Osteoporosis
Osteoporosis
Last edited by Dave on Wed Oct 07, 2020 10:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Osteoporosis
Tough read Dave.
Not maudlin, just another human condition mapped out
with chilling brevity.
Good write.
Not maudlin, just another human condition mapped out
with chilling brevity.
Good write.
- Tracy Mitchell
- Posts: 3399
- Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:58 pm
Re: Osteoporosis
Excellent narrative. Well constructed with attention to diction and pace.
Consider deleting the two end-line commas (S.2 & S.4)
Interesting how we come to see our parents in new light as we grow older, even as we sense that sometimes we become them.
I like the way the N adjusts to the new realities of life.
T
Consider deleting the two end-line commas (S.2 & S.4)
Interesting how we come to see our parents in new light as we grow older, even as we sense that sometimes we become them.
I like the way the N adjusts to the new realities of life.
T