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Small Worlds

Posted: Sun Aug 02, 2020 7:13 am
by Matty11
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Re: Small Worlds

Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2020 12:01 pm
by poet-e
Nice images.  Sounds like an old school poem.  Over my head... about a relationship?

Re: Small Worlds

Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2020 1:56 am
by Matty11
Thanks P.

Yes, relations between those that matter as opposed to that insistent world of voices that say they matter more or as much.

best

Phil

Re: Small Worlds

Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2020 6:25 am
by ajduclos
Love this, Phil... Sweet !!!!   Great rhyme scheme.     Screw Covid-19 !!!!!!!!!!!
Aj

Re: Small Worlds

Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2020 11:00 pm
by Matty11
Screw Covid-19 !!!!!!!!!!!

:lol: Agreed Aj! :D

thanks

Phil

Re: Small Worlds

Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2020 2:05 pm
by indar
Hi Phil,

I keep coming back to this one trying to decipher its meaning. The first part, cozy rooms, spicy spaghetti etc is pleasant enough but the images progressively turn macabre as time itself progresses. Is it simply a matter of passing time, aging and turning to less innocent pastimes or is this a commentary on current events? 

I will continue to puzzle this one out. Its intriguing and written in a way that keeps drawing this reader back. 

Re: Small Worlds

Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2020 3:29 pm
by Matty11
Thanks Linda. Nothing too nuanced in this. A life is for living message, not clock watching or viris 'bullying'.

all the best

Phil

Re: Small Worlds

Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2020 11:07 am
by Dave
Nice to see you writing Matty.
 

Re: Small Worlds

Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2020 11:08 am
by Dave
I like the feel of this even if it is quite off kilter. I prefer the original version as the piratical language seemed to appear quite left of field in the second version. Probably just me. Besides, from a personal taste point of view I not much taken with pirates and jolly rogers and stuff.
In terms of what it was about, it seemed pretty clear to me.

 

Re: Small Worlds

Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2020 2:37 pm
by Matty11
I think you're right Dave. The pirate conceit is strained and contrived, or feels so, I'll row back a bit on that.

cheers

Phil