Welcome to The Tangled Branch!  Join us.

In Daylight

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
indar
Posts: 2908
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 8:00 am

In Daylight

Post by indar » Fri May 29, 2020 1:58 pm

The dying body beneath him
gushed feces and urine.
He leaned forward, harder,
fingered himself from his pocket
in secret joy.

indar
Posts: 2908
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 8:00 am

Re: In Daylight

Post by indar » Fri May 29, 2020 2:01 pm

I typed this out once but on return to the forum didn't see it. It might be a little controversial and was removed or I might have forgotten to hit "submit". If the former please inform me :D

User avatar
Colm Roe
Posts: 2697
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:45 am

Re: In Daylight

Post by Colm Roe » Fri May 29, 2020 2:15 pm

Definitely wasn't removed :)

User avatar
Tom
Posts: 248
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 9:09 pm

Re: In Daylight

Post by Tom » Fri May 29, 2020 4:18 pm

Colm Roe wrote:
Fri May 29, 2020 2:15 pm
Definitely wasn't removed :)

Colm is right.

indar
Posts: 2908
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 8:00 am

Re: In Daylight

Post by indar » Fri May 29, 2020 5:11 pm

Of course I have no idea why that jerk had his hand jammed in his pocket for the entire 8+ minutes it took to murder George Floyd. I felt a bit uncertain about making that statement but I have no doubt he enjoyed what he did in some respect if for no other reason than he continued to grind his knee into Floyd's neck for 2 minutes 44 seconds after Floyd became non-responsive and one of the other perpetrators had reported he could get no pulse.

So no one is holding me to provable fact----good.
 

User avatar
Colm Roe
Posts: 2697
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:45 am

Re: In Daylight

Post by Colm Roe » Fri May 29, 2020 8:36 pm

I only became aware of the incident this afternoon.
The police over there appear to use unnecessary force, I'm sure you've seen the video footage of Deandre Brunston's slaughter...they even shot their own dog! OK, that's an extreme example. From all the police programmes I've seen most, IMO show unnecessary violence when arresting suspects. There does seem to be a lustful excitement...like it's some macho game.
I know there are plenty of times when they are compelled to use extreme force to subdue a suspect. But they seem to have lost the run of themselves.
I don't know what that man did, why he was arrested, and what he did when they arrested him. But I'm fairly sure if I was pressing my knee on his neck I'd be aware of the consequences if I put too much weight there for any length of time.
If Obama couldn't reduce the number of black men (not sure if that's a disrespectful term nowadays?) murdered by the police, it doesn't bode well for them under a white (can I say white?) President.
You live there Linda. You know far more than I do about racism, the police, gun control (the lack of), poverty etc. in America. What do you think about this statement? The 'United' States of America is becoming less united with every day, and your Government will have to create a big (possibly a World) war to distract its people and avoid a total collapse of the Union'
China's 'government' is terrified of this, and will do ABSOLUTELY anything to avoid it...including allowing the deaths of hundreds of millions of its citizens. Trump boasts about fewer troops dying under his leadership, but he'll be remembered as just a curious anomaly in the history books, as a fun quiz question few can answer. But he wants to be remembered as a 'tremendous' President; a 'just' World War would elevate his name into the big league. His faults would then become mere anecdotes, fun facts about the Great Man!
Jeez, another rant...apols Linda. I'm just talkin shite :lol:
Back to the poem.
I like it, but not sure about in secret joy
I can understand why you'd say it...but I'd prefer a more subtle approach.

The dying man beneath him
gushed faeces
urine,
submission.
Pressing even harder,
hand in pocket, wondering
if he might have lost his car keys
in all the commotion.

indar
Posts: 2908
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 8:00 am

Re: In Daylight

Post by indar » Fri May 29, 2020 10:39 pm

Thanks for weighing in on this one Colm. I wonder if you have seen the agonizing almost 9 minutes the killer kept his knee ground into the neck of a man who was face-down with his hands handcuffed behind his back and 3 other perpetrators holding him in place. Everyone mentions the killer's hand is in his pocket as if he is being nonchalant he is staring blankly into space. I read it differently. I think he's lost in a sexual/sadistic moment. An off-duty EMT begged him to let her take the victim's pulse and informed the perpetrator his victim was dying. No response. One of the other "officers" suggested they roll the victim over--didn't happen. All the while that hand is in the pocket. Writing about car keys is way different than my interpretation of those events.

indar
Posts: 2908
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 8:00 am

Re: In Daylight

Post by indar » Sat May 30, 2020 10:51 am

As to the rest of your statement (which I lost track of because I'm so horrified by the episode) I think the United States of America will come out of this era a different country. I doubt I'll live long enough to see what the ultimate outcome will be but I'm guessing a greatly diminished country in terms of any kind of "shining city on the hill".

And while we weren't looking, Trump pulled us out of the WHO in the middle of a pandemic--another great move....

User avatar
Tracy Mitchell
Posts: 3179
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:58 pm

Re: In Daylight

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Sat May 30, 2020 4:56 pm

Th perversity of that event is beyond argument. I think you have caught something. I wouldn't call it a sexual element, but certainly something obsessive, psychotic, and sociopathic. You gotta be one sick person on so many levels to carry out that act. I also think there are reservations in hell for each of the cops on the scene as well.

Courageous writing, Linda. Something you are very good at.

T

User avatar
Colm Roe
Posts: 2697
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:45 am

Re: In Daylight

Post by Colm Roe » Sat May 30, 2020 6:17 pm

Hi Linda,
Yes, I saw some footage of the crime...truly horrific. And for some reason it's even more sad because the victim is black; and I don't think that's because the policeman is white. I think it's because we see so many innocent black people murdered by the police we've begun to believe that most black people are innocent.
I still think the way you end the poem comes across like name calling, because you're obviously upset.
I know my edit is totally different, and I'm not suggesting you use it; but I think it is closer to the truth.
And it shows the officer up for the loathsome, callous, cruel and indifferent excuse for a man he is.
Apols if any of my American friends here think my previous post was an attempt to put America down; that was not
my intention.

Post Reply