The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

She offered
a glimpse through
summer infused foliage

they unfroze love
shared its liquidity

birth 
 
even as it steals
more than it gives

Her closeness
an imagined
within and between

for him to admire
his finding

know his distance 
from the source.

 

a glimpse through
summer infused foliage

they unfroze love
shared its liquidity

I liked that part Dave, but not really connecting with the rest.

best

Phil

Interesting poem.
I read the two protagonists as Life and Death.
Right or wrong I enjoyed the lightness of it...reflecting the ephemeral nature of our time here.

Sounds like sex in the bushes.

Thanks everyone - good when a poem is something else to each reader.

Dave
 

good when a poem is something else to each reader.

Good you think so because I read this as a two-parter: the closeness of shared intimacy that leads to a birth but the difference in the way the father experiences that event compared to the mother.

Lovely lines throughout I agree with Matty: the first S is a standout.

I agree with Indar's comments.  S.1 is special.  "Birth" starts the poem in a different gear - I never got with it there.

T