She offered
a glimpse through
summer infused foliage
they unfroze love
shared its liquidity
birth
even as it steals
more than it gives
Her closeness
an imagined
within and between
for him to admire
his finding
know his distance
from the source.
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She offered
Re: She offered
a glimpse through
summer infused foliage
they unfroze love
shared its liquidity
I liked that part Dave, but not really connecting with the rest.
best
Phil
Re: She offered
Interesting poem.
I read the two protagonists as Life and Death.
Right or wrong I enjoyed the lightness of it...reflecting the ephemeral nature of our time here.
I read the two protagonists as Life and Death.
Right or wrong I enjoyed the lightness of it...reflecting the ephemeral nature of our time here.
Re: She offered
Thanks everyone - good when a poem is something else to each reader.
Dave
Dave
Re: She offered
good when a poem is something else to each reader.
Good you think so because I read this as a two-parter: the closeness of shared intimacy that leads to a birth but the difference in the way the father experiences that event compared to the mother.
Lovely lines throughout I agree with Matty: the first S is a standout.
- Tracy Mitchell
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Re: She offered
I agree with Indar's comments. S.1 is special. "Birth" starts the poem in a different gear - I never got with it there.
T
T