The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Dave wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 16, 2020 11:57 am

Hey Tim,
My bad - I meant this use of own - , your own nostrils - 

Not following this, but okay. Thanks.

It is not so important but the second stanza is this:

all the orange peels tossed
from her window, your own nostrils
sweetened from the smell of her—

surely if you say

from her window, your nostrils
sweetened ...

the sense remains the same thus the word own is largely redundant. However, like a punchline in a joke that needs repeating the point becomes mute
 

I like it better when you explain yourself, Dave  ;)

Thank you. Very helpful. 

Tim

There is also a sweet meaning were you to swap the words, "You" with "We" or "Us."

Can you tell I'm missing my husband?

Deb wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 28, 2020 12:11 am

There is also a sweet meaning were you to swap the words, "You" with "We" or "Us."

Can you tell I'm missing my husband?

Peace to you, Deb. I had no idea.

If I were to swap you w/plural pronoun, it would change my intent. Please feel free to take this poem, change it, and use the words how you wish. I don't mind.

Thank you, Tim. That is kind of you. I like the way you have this written. It's a beautiful love poem.

To be clear, my husband has been at sea for a few weeks. He's coming home tomorrow.