The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

After most of thirty-five years,
this is where you have traveled
to be with this woman, the accordion
folds spelling out the constants,
the irreversible:

all the orange peels tossed
from her window, your own nostrils
sweetened from the smell of her—

all the names of long-forgotten
cities, streets, cul-de-sacs
and detours—

plus all the rest-stops you have called
your own.

You bring the reader into this.  I very much like the gentle aroma-image in S.2 - locks the bond between two.

T

Tracy Mitchell wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 09, 2020 8:45 am

You bring the reader into this.  I very much like the gentle aroma-image in S.2 - locks the bond between two.

T

Thanks, Tracy.

I enjoy a love poem that doesn't drip the word, love.

S3 could be about me and my husband. The last line is golden. 

~Deb

Deb wrote: ↑

Sat Jan 11, 2020 3:15 am

I enjoy a love poem that doesn't drip the word, love.

S3 could be about me and my husband. The last line is golden.

~Deb

Someone told me once that a love poem should never use the word love in it. Not entirely sure about that, but, yeah....

Captivating, honest, real. I love the orange peels tossed line, brings to mind the old wive's tale of tossing a complete peel over your shoulder and the way it landed would spell the initial of your true love (or was that an apple peel? No matter. The insinuation was there and appropriate in this love poem.) The poem's truth opens gently as its title. A superb Tim J Brennan piece. 

Would just like to add my admiration and enjoyment of the poem. A fine romance. The only word that seems superfluous to me is 'own' since it simply repeats the sense of your without adding anything. The rest is great.
Dave

Sharon Leigh wrote: ↑

Mon Jan 13, 2020 5:52 pm

Captivating, honest, real. I love the orange peels tossed line, brings to mind the old wive's tale of tossing a complete peel over your shoulder and the way it landed would spell the initial of your true love (or was that an apple peel? No matter. The insinuation was there and appropriate in this love poem.) The poem's truth opens gently as its title. A superb Tim J Brennan piece. 

Thanks, Sharon. I will look up this "wive's tale"....love that kind of stuff.
 

Dave wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 14, 2020 1:01 pm

Would just like to add my admiration and enjoyment of the poem. A fine romance. The only word that seems superfluous to me is 'own' since it simply repeats the sense of your without adding anything. The rest is great.
Dave

Thanks, Dave. Please suggest a different word to end this on. Would greatly appreciate it.

Hey Tim,
My bad - I meant this use of own - , your own nostrils -