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Just Patterns

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Tracy Mitchell
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Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 10:58 pm

Just Patterns

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Mon Nov 11, 2019 9:50 pm

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Image




      Just Patterns

Across the back of a continent 
black dots line mountain ranges, lakes, 
blood lines smear the color of camelbacks, 
lion tails perched always on the edge–
a holster reaches down the horn.

The death of the dream of Pangaea
backgrounds a lost center – South Atlantic 
now gone white without the slave ships.

Mirror imaged to the left, a Brasil something
pens out toward a future of chaos. 

A razor, a god, a scrap of torn magazine text 
the size of Uruguay, turned upward, written in script
of a lost language- like a finger in the mouth of the wind. 

We choose to not see villages at the confluences,
the devastation, the snakes lying in wait.  Stone face
ghosts of Easter Island must be on the back side.

Our eyes are on  a downward duck of beer cans, 
glasses rattling in a faceless tavern–
we see no people – just patterns.

 
Last edited by Tracy Mitchell on Tue Nov 12, 2019 3:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Colm Roe
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Re: Just Patterns

Post by Colm Roe » Tue Nov 12, 2019 2:22 am

I wouldn't hang it on any of my walls  :shock:
But it's responsible for your fab poem (love the Pangaea ref.) so all's well with the world.
 

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re: Just Patterns

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Tue Nov 12, 2019 5:15 am

Thanks Colm.. :)
 

Matty11
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Re: Just Patterns

Post by Matty11 » Tue Nov 12, 2019 6:14 am

Love this T. Your poem allows the reader to have the experience that prompted the write.

best

Phil

indar
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Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:00 pm

Re: Just Patterns

Post by indar » Tue Nov 12, 2019 3:03 pm

Here is a fine example and the best argument in favor of using the internet to full advantage. The poem COULD stand alone but why SHOULD it.

The artist owes you one. Your vision of her piece works to the advantage of both. I love this as you knew I would. Beyond the commentary on the actual work there is a commentary on how, from our own particular positions in this world, we have come to generalize other countries, cultures histories, trends, losing track of the human element.

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Tracy Mitchell
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Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 10:58 pm

Re: Just Patterns

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Tue Nov 12, 2019 8:01 pm

Phil - thanks for your read and comments.  

Indar - thanks for your comments as well.  I didn't know whether to include the picture or not.  You convinced me that I did right.  :)

Cheers

T

Dave
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Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 4:07 pm

Re: Just Patterns

Post by Dave » Fri Nov 15, 2019 1:33 pm

Interesting poem Tracy.
May I suggest one or two small edits:
Across a continent  (too backs in the poem and besides does a mountain range have a chest?)
black dots line mountain ranges, lakes, (more interesting word than lines - don't know what)
blood lines smear the color of camelbacks, (What does this mean? - the lines(lines again) do the smearing? Why not name the color rather than using the word color?)
lion tails perched always on the edge– (always - how do you know?)
a holster reaches down the horn.

The death of the dream of Pangaea
backgrounds a lost center – South Atlantic (love the slave line here)
now gone white without the slave ships.

Mirror imaged to the left, a Brasil something (drop the word something since the 'a' says it already and better)
pens out toward a future of chaos. 

A razor, a god, a scrap of torn magazine text (drop text as you have script, a much better word, later)
the size of Uruguay, turned upward, written in script
of a lost language- like a finger in the mouth of the wind. 

We choose to not see villages at the confluences, (who is 'we' suddenly appearing in this? - what should I do if I see them?)
the devastation, the snakes lying in wait.  Stone face
ghosts of Easter Island must be on the back side.(back side/backside = bum = butt - really you mean that?)

Our eyes are on  a downward duck of beer cans, (upended instead of downward since I can imagine an upended duck but am not sure what a downward duck is?)
glasses rattling in a faceless tavern– (faceless tavern is one of those clever phrases but not sure if it a) escapes being a cliche and b) really says something. Do you know taverns with faces? I think the line would be just fine without it)
we see no people – just patterns.
 

Sharon Leigh
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Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 11:07 am
Location: Midwest US

Re: Just Patterns

Post by Sharon Leigh » Sun Dec 01, 2019 1:57 am

Hi Tracy :)

What a write..! An amazing counterpoint to the image, I love the topical subtexts you've woven alongside the scattered imagery, which still somehow magically become inclusive of the world we all share and many of its recent concerns, making the poem for and about "all of us". Amazing, Tracy. 
"This creature of the poem may assemble itself into a being with its own centrifugal force."-- Sharon Olds

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