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Fear is a Fruit

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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Tracy Mitchell
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Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:58 pm

Fear is a Fruit

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Sun Dec 30, 2018 10:46 am

.

Fear is a Fruit

Fear is a fruit grown
on vines which climb
toward the sun, to shade
and strangle their host.
Fear is a fruit.

Fear is an elixir
to cure maladies like
love, endurance
and loyalty.
Fear is an elixir.

Fear is a torch
against a black sky
dowsing our night vision
and making invisible, inaccessible
the promises of comets.
Last edited by Tracy Mitchell on Mon Jan 07, 2019 7:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

Tim J Brennan

Re: Fear is a Fruit

Post by Tim J Brennan » Sun Dec 30, 2018 4:17 pm

Fear a lot of things in a short period of time/lines, Tracy. Not always is the title the controlling entity but since you say it three times, I must assume you believe it the strongest of all of these things.

The journey from fruit vine to elixir to torch a big leap for me.  After reading and thinking and reading again I'm getting Friar Lawrence's thoughts about natural drugs when his character is introduced in Romeo & Juliet. Took me there anyway. Kinda. Sorta.    

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re: Fear is a Fruit

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Sun Dec 30, 2018 5:41 pm

Thanks for your thoughts, Tim.
I appreciate the FB.

T

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Colm Roe
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Re: Fear is a Fruit

Post by Colm Roe » Sun Dec 30, 2018 6:40 pm

Not convinced the repeating lines at the ends of S1 and 2 are needed. As I read these stanzas I believed what you were saying, but these lines read like you doubted the preceding stanzas would be believed? 
That aside, I like this so much. It resonates with me, it reminds me about the power of fear. Like most people I've had my share of fears, I've managed to conquer them all...ok, public speaking hasn't been conquered, just managed. But that keeps it exciting, so I'm happy with just managed.
Anywho, you've succinctly and cleverly shown the destructive nature of it. 
Kudos.

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Marc Gilbert
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Location: Chicago, USA
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Re: Fear is a Fruit

Post by Marc Gilbert » Sun Dec 30, 2018 8:45 pm

I like this poem. I try when reading a poem not to decide whether I agree or disagree with what it says. I'm much more interested in if it's effective at saying it.

This to me seems like an exercise in a form. It's not one I'm familiar with, perhaps it is your own. In any event, if it is an experiment, I think it rather successful.

This is not a big poem, nor one of my favorites of yours. That said, I do think it does what it appears to set out to do effectively.

It reads well aloud, which for me is always a big plus. All that said, I think the final stanza outshines the other two by lightyears. I wonder if "the" would work better than "our" in it. If you're going for the universal, then "the "is the right choice. "Our" would fit if you're addressing the poem to someone in particular.

my two cents such as they are.

marc

 
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery

Dave
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Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:07 am

Re: Fear is a Fruit

Post by Dave » Mon Dec 31, 2018 1:52 am

In stanza 1 the vines are grown deliberately to strangle. I ask myzel why and by whom or what. The strangling vines only carry the fruit so unlike the other stanzas the fear is a passive passenger not active. I ask mysel if the is deliberatei also wonder at the the lack of article before torch and the doubling of invisible and inaccessible.
The stanza i find interesting is S 2 as it confounds expections. S3 is goodbut seems rather from a separate poem altogether, could easily be a stand alone poem imo

Dave
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Re: Fear is a Fruit

Post by Dave » Mon Dec 31, 2018 2:04 am

I would drop the comma in S 1 by the way as it distorts the flow and meaning

indar
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Re: Fear is a Fruit

Post by indar » Mon Dec 31, 2018 7:35 am

I read this a few times trying to figure out what it reminds me of. Each stanza is a closed statement: the first line is a declaration as yet unsubstantiated the following lines explain and support the statement. The last line restates the first as a "truth" ( I can almost hear the "therefore" preceding it.)

I know---it kind of sounds like some sort of syllogism---but its poetry---yes it is.

indar
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Re: Fear is a Fruit

Post by indar » Mon Dec 31, 2018 8:45 am

Back again--

Fear is torch
against a black sky
dowsing our night vision
and making invisible, inaccessible
the promises of comets.

I loved it until the promises of comets. I know stars are an overworked bunch of souls, the universe/cosmos/ heavens/ all too abstract and as overworked. But comets? What promise could we possibly need to extract from them. I know light pollution is a problem even for those telescopes way up in the mountains.  And city living makes connection to our larger place swimming through the milky way almost impossible. I guess a comet might be more lost than moon, stars or meteor showers. Dunno 

Matty11
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Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:58 pm

Re: Fear is a Fruit

Post by Matty11 » Wed Jan 02, 2019 1:07 pm

Hi Tracy,

Certainly makes the reader think. S1 is a greedy fear, thriving and achieving at the expense of and by using its 'host'. S2 is more ironic, where the destructive nature of fear undermines and worms its way overtime. S3 is destruction of another kind, of imagination and dreams, the ambition of visions. Here it is false, preys on us, and excludes.

enjoyed

Phil
Tracy Mitchell wrote:
Sun Dec 30, 2018 10:46 am
.

Fear is a Fruit

Fear is a fruit grown
on vines which climb
toward the sun, to shade
and strangle their host.
Fear is a fruit.

Fear is an elixir
to cure maladies like
love, endurance
and loyalty.
Fear is an elixir.

Fear is torch
against a black sky
dowsing our night vision
and making invisible, inaccessible
the promises of comets.

 

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