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This Poem
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Marc Gilbert
- Posts: 145
- Joined: Sat Jan 06, 2018 7:02 am
- Location: Chicago, USA
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Re: This Poem
Very enjoyable read. The only things that stand out to me are the direct judgments or statements from the narrator to the poem:
"to hell with this poem"
"up yours, this poem"
In contrast, the line, "this poem shoots blanks" is so strong and fitting. Could see making the "to hell..." line as the last, no idea what you would put in its current place.
Not well articulated, but hope you see where I'm going.
marc
"to hell with this poem"
"up yours, this poem"
In contrast, the line, "this poem shoots blanks" is so strong and fitting. Could see making the "to hell..." line as the last, no idea what you would put in its current place.
Not well articulated, but hope you see where I'm going.
marc
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery
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Tim J Brennan
Re: This Poem
Marc Gilbert wrote: ↑Sun Dec 23, 2018 5:27 pmVery enjoyable read. The only things that stand out to me are the direct judgments or statements from the narrator to the poem:
"to hell with this poem"
"up yours, this poem"
In contrast, the line, "this poem shoots blanks" is so strong and fitting. Could see making the "to hell..." line as the last, no idea what you would put in its current place.
Not well articulated, but hope you see where I'm going.
marc
Very helpful, Marc. Agree w/lots of this. My fascination w/ -ing is almost an addiction. Thank you. I will evaluate and re-post.