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Clay Formed (a rework)

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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Marc Gilbert
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Re: Clay Formed (a rework)

Post by Marc Gilbert » Sat Jan 27, 2018 7:26 am

Thanks, Maggie,
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery
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Janet
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Re: Clay Formed (a rework)

Post by Janet » Sat Jan 27, 2018 7:44 am

Enjoyed the imagery- the crumbling castle, the mirror forged from it. The yearning for a world small enough to grasp. The one line that doesn't quite resonate is at the end, where the N says no one is smiling- maybe because at that moment the narrative switches from life review to something more like depression. Which is fine if that's what you were going for. Enjoyed the reflective qualities, the overall tone.
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Marc Gilbert
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Re: Clay Formed (a rework)

Post by Marc Gilbert » Sat Jan 27, 2018 8:01 am

Thank you, Janet. I've never known (and still don't know) what to do with that line :P
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery
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