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Hurricane
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- Posts: 9
- Joined: Sun Jan 14, 2018 9:57 pm
Re: Hurricane
Beautiful. No nits from me. Love 'the new eleven' line. You are a wonderful poet, Sharon
- Sharon Leigh
- Posts: 452
- Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 4:07 am
- Location: Midwest US
Re: Hurricane
Thanks so much, Daryl
Re: Hurricane
"If I could
I'd manipulate the early
April weather: seed cirrus,
nimbus pregnant, full
with dust and promise"
Beautiful, full poem. I'd look here and see if "manipulate" and "seed cirrus" isn't a shade of redundancy. When one seeds clouds (for rain) it IS manipulation.
Tim
I'd manipulate the early
April weather: seed cirrus,
nimbus pregnant, full
with dust and promise"
Beautiful, full poem. I'd look here and see if "manipulate" and "seed cirrus" isn't a shade of redundancy. When one seeds clouds (for rain) it IS manipulation.
Tim
- Sharon Leigh
- Posts: 452
- Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 4:07 am
- Location: Midwest US
Re: Hurricane
Thanks much, Tim, I hadn't thought of that so I'll consider there. Appreciate your looking in!
Best,
S
Best,
S
Re: Hurricane
Tim J Brennan wrote: ↑Tue Jan 23, 2018 8:56 pm"
Beautiful, full poem. I'd look here and see if "manipulate" and "seed cirrus" isn't a shade of redundancy. When one seeds clouds (for rain) it IS manipulation.
Tim
Reasonable point - but seeding clouds isn't necessarily the only method of manipulating weather - poetically it could be rain dances or technocratically it could be ELF microwave transmissions a la HAARP. I don't think the shades of that nuance is worth adjusting the composition over.
Re: Hurricane
Well, I guess it would depend on the author's meaning of "seed"....only she would know intention. Thought it worth mentioning....
Re: Hurricane
Fab poem Sharon, so much to appreciate here...I love the '11 between the brows' line.
- Sharon Leigh
- Posts: 452
- Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 4:07 am
- Location: Midwest US
Re: Hurricane
Colm, thanks a bunch, & thanks for looking in!
Best,
Sharon
Best,
Sharon