We are something
that is a certainty—
or certain as something can be
post quantum theory
and all the small stuff
we say to sound smart
or relevant, or whatever.
Do bad guys love their children?
Whose faces do they see from the balcony
as they pull and pull and pull the trigger
or make the calls that send in drones?
I saw a Syrian girl in Greece.
She learned English from the TV—
Days of our Lives
Was she on the same boat as a bomber?
Yes a pint sounds nice
or something stronger—
something that cleans and burns
all doubt and leads to action.
Welcome to The Tangled Branch! Join us.
We are Something
-
Marc Gilbert
- Posts: 186
- Joined: Sat Jan 06, 2018 7:02 am
- Location: Wakefield, MI - USA
- Contact:
We are Something
Last edited by Marc Gilbert on Sun Jan 14, 2018 4:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery
Re: We are Something
Do bad guys love their children?
Who's faces do they see from the balcony ---- Whose
as they pull and pull and pull the trigger
or make the calls that send in drones?
I saw a Syrian girl in Greece.
She learned English from the TV—
Day of our Lives --- Days
Was she on the same boats as a shooter? ---- I think singular boat makes more sense
Interesting question re bad guys: some of the most horrendous crime bosses seem to have loved their children deeply but perhaps only as narcissist extensions of themselves
WE are at a time when we need to be very careful of how we state things so they won't be misinterpreted. I know you know the Los Vegas shooter was in no way related to a possible shooter on a boat from somewhere else. Domestic terrorism needs to be clearly defined and pointed out. That said timely writing and needed
Who's faces do they see from the balcony ---- Whose
as they pull and pull and pull the trigger
or make the calls that send in drones?
I saw a Syrian girl in Greece.
She learned English from the TV—
Day of our Lives --- Days
Was she on the same boats as a shooter? ---- I think singular boat makes more sense
Interesting question re bad guys: some of the most horrendous crime bosses seem to have loved their children deeply but perhaps only as narcissist extensions of themselves
WE are at a time when we need to be very careful of how we state things so they won't be misinterpreted. I know you know the Los Vegas shooter was in no way related to a possible shooter on a boat from somewhere else. Domestic terrorism needs to be clearly defined and pointed out. That said timely writing and needed
-
Marc Gilbert
- Posts: 186
- Joined: Sat Jan 06, 2018 7:02 am
- Location: Wakefield, MI - USA
- Contact:
Re: We are Something
Thanks so much for the feedback. I'm so glad you hopped the hurdles and made it in. Sorry for the headache. 
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery
-
Marc Gilbert
- Posts: 186
- Joined: Sat Jan 06, 2018 7:02 am
- Location: Wakefield, MI - USA
- Contact:
Re: We are Something
Linda,
I was rereading your comments. I wrote this some time before the LV shooting, but the poem definitely conflates these events. I need to re-examine the content. Thanks again for the much needed help.
I was rereading your comments. I wrote this some time before the LV shooting, but the poem definitely conflates these events. I need to re-examine the content. Thanks again for the much needed help.
would that help?Was she on the same boat as a bomber?
"Poetry is not speech raised to the level of music, but music brought down to the level of speech." - Paul Valery
Re: We are Something
Whose faces do they see from the balcony
as they pull and pull and pull the trigger
These are the lines that made me think of domestic terrorism, maybe because gunfire seems to be more indigenous (to me). It might be too far afield from what you want to say but perhaps something on the order of "whose faces do they see aiming the U Haul at the crowd" I don't mean to put words into your poem---just a for instance.
as they pull and pull and pull the trigger
These are the lines that made me think of domestic terrorism, maybe because gunfire seems to be more indigenous (to me). It might be too far afield from what you want to say but perhaps something on the order of "whose faces do they see aiming the U Haul at the crowd" I don't mean to put words into your poem---just a for instance.
Re: We are Something
Oh and definitely "bomber" is the better choice.