This Time

[Tracy Mitchell]

~

        This Time  

I could be an oriole 
or winterberry holly, leaning. 

My life could open on the far slope.
In foliage

of red berries above new snow.

I hear moss inch further each night 
and while I sleep 
water moves upstream.

~

[Dave]

I enjoyed this. I am not sure if I personally am so fond of the personification, it nevertheless works. There are very affecting moments such as the addition of 'leaning' end of L1 plus the inching moss and water moving upstream giving the poem a magical air.
Dave

[Mark]

I think the upstream water movement relates to how trees take up moisture by vertical capillary action. If so, it's a subtle insertion but overall the pause to think about it may distract from the rest of the piece. I found the image of the red berries over new snow quite striking. I suppose new snow is different to old snow, I don't know much about snow. The idea of reincarnating as a tree is interesting. I sometimes wonder about the placement of trees in nature, literally rooted for life in one seemingly random place. Like, why there?