Whoever it is that writes the news
isn’t very good at their job.
I mean, have you ever sat down
and actually tried watching it?
BOOORRRIIINNNGGG!!!
I don’t know how adults do it.
Maybe they have so much fun at work
that they need to wind down in the evening
with dull people at dull desks saying dull things
in dull voices.
If I wrote the news,
this is what you’d hear:
“The government is giving free bicycles to everyone.
Each one flies a considerable distance.”
“The war in the Middle East has ended,
saved by an unknown superhero.”
“Teachers have admitted,
‘We don’t know as much as we think’.”
“Today’s budget has been announced:
all our money will be given to children.”
“And lastly, the news will be cancelled.
As they say, no news is good news.”
Muchly like the ending.