Rhyme Aid

[Dylan di Vilde]

Though Rhyme should be for everyone
it sometimes gets looked down upon.
‘Oh fol-de-rol and tosh’ they say
‘those rhyming schemes are so passé.’
It’s saddening when people choose
to air their slightly rhymist views.
(and if this issue worries you
go to hashtag #Rhymers Too.)


In fact, a school of thought does say
that every poem should go this way
and everyone should take the time
to formulate a fitting Rhyme
and if your treasured poem has none
it simply ain’t a proper one.
You’ve got to put the hours in
that’s the skill and discipline.
Rhyme alone is not enough –
there’s metre plus some other stuff
but Rhyme’s the fundamental part -
the other way’s a lesser art.

That of course is not a crime -
some people find it hard to rhyme.
We really shouldn’t pity those
who write what looks like
chopped
up
prose.
It’s likely they were born that way -
some chromosome that went astray.
Those challenged souls so crudely made
deserve our kind supportive aid.

And so to help us to address
their rhyme-deficient hopelessness
a charitable fund is planned
to send them off to Switzerland
where scientists can swiftly cure
this sad affliction they endure -
a quick incision, rum and pills,
no speculums or nasty drills.

“I’m glad” said Simon, 23
“that Dr. Swietzer cured me.”
“I swear” said Helmut, 54
“I’d never ever rhymed before”
“Can’t wait” said Klara, 36
“my operation is tomorrow.”


And now their happy lives are spent
rhyming to their heart’s content.


 

[Dave]

Fun puns
 

[Dansinger]

That brought a smile to my face.
Can I have the rum, please?
And only the rum!

[Dylan di Vilde]

Brandy works too

[Gyppo]

Ah, Dylan.  You have tempted me to the 'dark side'.

=====

I went to Switzerland you see
to sup the poisoned Chalice,
It never ever crossed my mind
this might be a Rhymer's malice.

I never realised there were those
whose hatred of my tidy prose
made them plot for my demise
until I saw their empty eyes.

They smile and say they mean me well
when they'd rather see me rot in hell.
I find that I am rather loath
to let them know I can do both.

Fluent rhyme or doggerel
no doubt there is a place in Hell,
where poets all will be consigned
each to torment the other kind.

Gyppo