The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Looking into the spam and false posts. no promises on a quick turn-around for the front page. Life always seems to get in the way.

On a personal note, I love reading your work. Please do keep posting.

Just getting reacclimated and stumbled upon this gem. I think the poem is much more than entertaining, though entertaining it is. YOur word choice do a great job of keeping the poem from sounding like prose. I like the poem as a whole but simply love the last 4 lines. Great to read your work again, ...

revision My old teacher, telling lewd jokes to mallards, wears a feathered hat. The sign says 'Do not feed the ducks' but life for him does not change overnight. He shares forbidden bread. I let him be. original My old teacher, telling lewd jokes to mallards, wears a feathered hat. The sign says ' ...

The minutes on the hour hand slip. Hold my hand but take yours when you need. Have my hand I don't need it back. To slip isn't to fall. Ski in the snow. I like this. The length of the opening line and its juxtaposition in structure from the remaining lines suggests the slippage. Two small suggestio...

Thanks, Dave,

God stuff and useful.  As always, I appreciate the thoughtfulness and valuable feedback.

Marc

Thank you for the kind comments, Janet. The whole poem has something to do with deferred rewards that may never come or something like that. Sometimes a line just comes and then I try and build a poem around it. This is one of those cases. I've learned (with some help from the folks here) that often...

I shun the sun for a bright tomorrow and plow dry fields. There are orchards in the not too distance and a stream behind to mock my sweat. Come autumn, if I am able, I’ll see what the rains have blessed and the birds have left me. Then I’ll make my bed,  should I see winter, under naked branches nea...

Much enjoyed, no nits. Love the economic expression of so much.

Marc

Janet, I enjoy reading this poem. I agree with David in wanting more of her and less of him. We all know him, or those like him pretty well. this line: "first is not an argument a grown|woman can make" seems a bit telly. I love this one: "His dreams draw line|in the carpet." and the ending. Maybe an...

Thanks for the kind comments and suggestions.