The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

~ A Recurring Thought of the Spirit Mother Some sound equivalent of neon sign lettering outlines my body, then seizes my ontological self in multiples, elongating like accordion bellows toward rhapsodies of raspberry and honey. I am turned to liquid, a liquid music surging like mountain creeks in sp...

This is wonderful, George. Beautiful.

T

Isn't it a delight to occasionally rediscover how lines seem to hum more without that pronoun? Love these descriptions, Indar. I got Innesfree reference, but missed Oz. Instead, I pictured Island Lake, south of Hibbing, Mn. Rising pines as seen from lakeside fit this so well. S.1 L.6 - that > who ? ...

I can tell you put some time into this and there is the obvious passion. To communicate better, however, the reader needs to given more. As it is, we have a Narrator who purports to love someone who the N idealizes as a 'dazzling angel', has pictures of her on his 'mobile device', and writes her und...

Good poem, George. You have made this personal, intimate. Consider this and see what you think:

Through the bedroom
window, a A layer of new
snow veils the field.

Let me know if you want me to argue the change

Thanks for posting.

T

I really like this poem. It gets to the heart of the matter without undue sentimentality. It speaks as an adult. My favorite lines are these: any more than I can reach what cannot be again. My love did not die with her - it became vagrant, Wonderful writing. The word "shrieks" struck me as well, but...

Thanks, Hugh, for the the very kind words.

Cheers.

T

I love the way the opening line brings the power -- somber, depressing and perfectly metered. I needed to google some instant research to refresh my recall, but became more confused. The wrathful angels I take to be those who opposed Jannes and Jambres, who haven't yet [in the poem] launched their f...

Cool. Thanks.