Thanks Tom
The stadard is high, this will be quite a challenge. Colm is your Poem based on a short film by any chance. no idea what it was called but won the Oscars about twenty years ago with Pretty much that story. Very funny.
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- Mon Apr 01, 2019 1:18 pm
- Forum: Archive - National Poetry Month Celebration 2019
- Topic: National Poetry Month Celebration 2019 - Post Poems Here!
- Replies: 828
- Views: 679675
- Mon Apr 01, 2019 1:10 pm
- Forum: Archive - National Poetry Month Celebration 2019
- Topic: National Poetry Month Celebration 2019 - Post Poems Here!
- Replies: 828
- Views: 679675
Re: National Poetry Month Celebration 2019 - Post Poems Here!
What a great start here to the month. Already excited about it all. The realisation Edit Delete Report Quote Post by Dave » Mon, 01 Apr 2019, 14:26 Got to get started somehow so here goes: Two used coffee cups stand on our kitchen table. One empty. The other half full. There is just enough space bet...
- Mon Apr 01, 2019 7:34 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Onset
- Replies: 6
- Views: 4127
Re: Onset
Overall the dialogue works better than the description imo. In particular the line, changes his disguise into a young man breaks the immediacy of the scene, is very telly, and suggests everything about the man is a disguise, including his being old. A degree of willfulness not supported by the rest ...
- Wed Mar 27, 2019 9:18 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Succulence
- Replies: 11
- Views: 7479
Re: Succulence
Suggestions no as that would presume i could improve it. Just observations. Stanza 4 stops the flow and removes it from the realm of tge personal. Moreover i cant visualise it or wuite believe it. In S 1 the words wind - movement - did not work well with tongues tying in S2. Hard to utter words with...
- Wed Mar 27, 2019 12:07 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Succulence
- Replies: 11
- Views: 7479
Re: Succulence
Fair enough Binx
- Tue Mar 26, 2019 4:22 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Succulence
- Replies: 11
- Views: 7479
Re: Succulence
It was a sexy evening then. Your answer to tracy may be true of the writer but hardly to the reader. Why trust a writer and to do what exactly? As a reader it is the reader's experience that counts not the writer's surely.
- Tue Mar 26, 2019 6:19 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Succulence
- Replies: 11
- Views: 7479
Re: Succulence
A poem that can be approched on different levels: a whole piece, in six distinct elements of title and 5 stanzas or as 3 petsonal emotional stanzas punctuated by somewhat dryer technical if contestable explanations. For me the second and fourth stanzas rather interruptvthan illuminate the others but...
- Sat Mar 23, 2019 12:11 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Key of Spring
- Replies: 8
- Views: 5097
Re: Key of Spring
Love the poem. Love spring is never dull. Poems about seasons very often are. This one not which is to its credit. Imho
- Sat Mar 23, 2019 4:28 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Key of Spring
- Replies: 8
- Views: 5097
Re: Key of Spring
A very good poem that breathes new life into a dull subject
- Sat Mar 23, 2019 4:26 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Volta
- Replies: 7
- Views: 4938
Re: Volta
I like the poem and your comment about a subtle apocalypse is amusing. The holding the door thing is a good metaphor but as a factual picture of world history and where we are heading it is a cliche and weak. The ancient Greeks were saying this. Their civilization ended i know but the reasons just m...