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by Dave
Mon Apr 01, 2019 1:18 pm
Forum: Archive - National Poetry Month Celebration 2019
Topic: National Poetry Month Celebration 2019 - Post Poems Here!
Replies: 828
Views: 679675

Re: National Poetry Month Celebration 2019 - Post Poems Here!

Thanks Tom
The stadard is high, this will be quite a challenge. Colm is your Poem based on a short film by any chance. no idea what it was called but won the Oscars about twenty years ago with Pretty much that story. Very funny.
by Dave
Mon Apr 01, 2019 1:10 pm
Forum: Archive - National Poetry Month Celebration 2019
Topic: National Poetry Month Celebration 2019 - Post Poems Here!
Replies: 828
Views: 679675

Re: National Poetry Month Celebration 2019 - Post Poems Here!

What a great start here to the month. Already excited about it all. The realisation Edit Delete Report Quote Post by Dave » Mon, 01 Apr 2019, 14:26 Got to get started somehow so here goes: Two used coffee cups stand on our kitchen table. One empty. The other half full. There is just enough space bet...
by Dave
Mon Apr 01, 2019 7:34 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Onset
Replies: 6
Views: 4127

Re: Onset

Overall the dialogue works better than the description imo. In particular the line, changes his disguise into a young man breaks the immediacy of the scene, is very telly, and suggests everything about the man is a disguise, including his being old. A degree of willfulness not supported by the rest ...
by Dave
Wed Mar 27, 2019 9:18 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Succulence
Replies: 11
Views: 7479

Re: Succulence

Suggestions no as that would presume i could improve it. Just observations. Stanza 4 stops the flow and removes it from the realm of tge personal. Moreover i cant visualise it or wuite believe it. In S 1 the words wind - movement - did not work well with tongues tying in S2. Hard to utter words with...
by Dave
Wed Mar 27, 2019 12:07 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Succulence
Replies: 11
Views: 7479

Re: Succulence

Fair enough Binx
by Dave
Tue Mar 26, 2019 4:22 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Succulence
Replies: 11
Views: 7479

Re: Succulence

It was a sexy evening then. Your answer to tracy may be true of the writer but hardly to the reader. Why trust a writer and to do what exactly? As a reader it is the reader's experience that counts not the writer's surely.
by Dave
Tue Mar 26, 2019 6:19 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Succulence
Replies: 11
Views: 7479

Re: Succulence

A poem that can be approched on different levels: a whole piece, in six distinct elements of title and 5 stanzas or as 3 petsonal emotional stanzas punctuated by somewhat dryer technical if contestable explanations. For me the second and fourth stanzas rather interruptvthan illuminate the others but...
by Dave
Sat Mar 23, 2019 12:11 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Key of Spring
Replies: 8
Views: 5097

Re: Key of Spring

Love the poem. Love spring is never dull. Poems about seasons very often are. This one not which is to its credit. Imho
by Dave
Sat Mar 23, 2019 4:28 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Key of Spring
Replies: 8
Views: 5097

Re: Key of Spring

A very good poem that breathes new life into a dull subject
by Dave
Sat Mar 23, 2019 4:26 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Volta
Replies: 7
Views: 4938

Re: Volta

I like the poem and your comment about a subtle apocalypse is amusing. The holding the door thing is a good metaphor but as a factual picture of world history and where we are heading it is a cliche and weak. The ancient Greeks were saying this. Their civilization ended i know but the reasons just m...