The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Thanks indar, glad you liked it.
This was very different initially, it was a numbers poem. The first line is all that remains, so I think you're probably right about removing it...or at least a serious edit.

Twelve hundred kilometres in three days tracing the Wild Atlantic Way, we drive with one aim we drive West  and stop when instructed by the ocean or jagged rocks, eventually pulled back by other tides  or just pause, stunned by sunsets we ebb walk strands  feel the water sucked in breaths beneath ou...

'I might be small, but I'm fucking dangerous'
A very small Irish friend facing up to a very tall German man by a swimming pool in Ibiza 1982.
Or any antigen you'd care to mention   

If this was mine I'd do it this way. It's a very quick edit, use or ignore as you see fit. Some nice lines either way, thanks for posting. Pam worked two jobs to pay a mortgage; raised six children and planted a rose garden. Her husband kept racing pigeons; gambled while rain gutters overflowed with...

Hi indar,  ' It probably didn't rise to frank's consciousness that the eye contact with the hawk represented a test of wills in which Frank prevailed. And that is why he projected the valor, defiance on a worthy opponent.' I'm still not getting this, I think because the hawk is just another trophy. ...

I think the last S needs an edit. It's like you want to say more, but don't want to fall into the 'killer (pardon the pun) ending'? The idea of hunting anything (unless you are obliged to hunt to survive) upsets me.  'Faced him', 'valour' and 'defiant' are used...but I think the direction should be ...

I enjoyed this. If you decide to change anything I'd focus on S2 and S3.  This poem reminds me of the first time I felt real grief, it was for myself. It was that moment I really thought about what would happen when I died, or more to the point, after I died. It was that (and it shouldn't have been)...

It's about control. A very specific control.
He could run the cold tap to reduce the temperature...but that's giving control to the tap!
His day was a typical one with the usual constraints...he'll do this his way.
Nice read. 

My mind tends to fly to all directions looking for a poet's real intention. I can read this several ways (as I do). Initially the N's partner was a bitch. Then (after the final S) you just used her as material for the poem; not meaning what you said. I've landed on her being a beloved, but dead part...

Love S1. S2. Maybe something like 'wooden poles wired to distant horizons'.  What is your interp of 'skyfall'? There's a lot going on in this S. 'copper jacketed vibrations', munitions? I'm reading her sending, not receiving the bullets?  OK, I'm possibly reading it wrong... I feel an honest link be...