The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Hey Colm Personally i could do without S1. It seems overly dramatic compared to the rest. Alomost like another poem. Besides if it circles above you where do the multiple shadows come from? And maybe i am dumb but i cant fit the handshake to either the circling or or the shadows or weather. The oth...

They grew from nutrients in the soil; I'd see that as 'returning' to the soil? 
OK, they weren't actual leaves in the soil...but we are allowed a certain amount of poetic licence 
 

Strange 'Linda' poem...'dry humping'  :shock: But excellent.  All those fab, funny, gentle dead are eclipsed by the bad (dead) ones..their terrible legacies live on. And the loss of respect, loutish behaviour of the currently 'living' people are there too.  I see both of these, not sure if that was ...

Have to (partially) disagree Dave. Probably because it's the way I write.  It's a poem on a theme, does what it says on the tin in a, with unique/inventive language. However, it might be improved (and you'll see less of a list) by the omission of S3 and 4. Apols for talking over you AT.  What say yo...

Fab poem Tim. A wonderful example of the power of showing (as opposed to telling). It's a real treat.  I hope you weren't setting us up for this by throwing in a few 'experimental' poems...and then WHAM, hit us with this curved ball  :) Either way, thanks for posting this.  I wonder if your two prev...

Like this one too. Suggested edits to consider. When summer transitions, leaves return to soil,  in coiled in foetal positions.                                 Great opening S.                      Rain, taps in arid valleys                          Love this S, assuming 'taps' is a verb maybe consi...

I want to wear someone else’s shoulders. To stand in front of the mirror and let them hang, until the broad blades cut into the bow of my back. I want to recite a litany of lost causes, as the blood merges at the soles of my feet. Re-learn rejection, the dire thrill of resignation. The grief of a t...

Not sure who I should address, SaroLee or Delores?
Either way please read the advice here...as I've suggested before!  
 viewtopic.php?f=265&t=529
Especially #5.
 

Like it Tim.
I know it's a novel way to do it...but find 'he/she said' mid speak a bit distracting.
I assume it's a way of pulling the reader in as an actual observer, and on reflection it kind of does...but.
Anywho, I'm sure your green shirt looks fab 

Not always the man's fault. We have a crude saying here...'Sometimes it's like throwing sausages up O'Connell Street!'  :lol: Who are they talking to? Not very loyal to each other...maybe say 'think/thinks'?  Or maybe the fact they're so disloyal to each other, and can't talk to each other, is what'...