Hey Gyppo
While I enjoyed the sentiments of this and am of course familiar with your prose style, I think this could cut much of the unnecessary filler, for example:
Eighteen and indestructible,
all the time in the world,
infinite possibilities.
Welcome to The Tangled Branch! Join us.
Search found 982 matches
- Mon Mar 27, 2023 6:25 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Then and Now
- Replies: 2
- Views: 3251
- Thu Mar 16, 2023 11:00 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: embark
- Replies: 1
- Views: 886
embark
embark to ports of words sold by children, boats list in morning murmur, light devoid of depth recedes to distant; no matter, mere hunger, senses loud, a gull’s cry settles in dust new born: one new step in worlds at home with themselves, out of joint with knowing. Cleaved from fetal sleep on board,...
- Wed Mar 15, 2023 1:31 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Knob-Handled Pot
- Replies: 4
- Views: 1425
Re: Knob-Handled Pot
Hey A different subject. I found some imaging could do with more precision and some was interesting. Firstly, that pot was seated is an odd word choice. I am not surre the mixed metaphor/simile of tentacles and Rapunzel's hair work well here. Tentacles do not have the same texture or form of locks...
- Wed Mar 15, 2023 1:08 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Spring is lurking...
- Replies: 1
- Views: 837
Re: Spring is lurking...
Sweet poeming Gyppo and the second one made me laugh as you knew it would
- Mon Mar 13, 2023 7:36 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: improvised
- Replies: 1
- Views: 851
improvised
Improvised
snow bends the light into rainbows
until this fledgling year takes shape
on branches flush with buds.
Fresh faced squirrals dig memories
from hollows and building begins
among the cupped arms. Breath
hangs still on crystals but not for long.
snow bends the light into rainbows
until this fledgling year takes shape
on branches flush with buds.
Fresh faced squirrals dig memories
from hollows and building begins
among the cupped arms. Breath
hangs still on crystals but not for long.
- Fri Feb 24, 2023 5:39 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Motive
- Replies: 6
- Views: 1452
Re: Motive
Hey Mark While this is typical neat writing, the poems leave me feeling a bit vacant of substance. My reaction to the first was rather yes, even if true, so? How should I relate to this? Who can I envisage when I try to apply it to real life. In any case conspiracy as such is clearly not a crime. O...
- Thu Feb 16, 2023 8:48 am
- Forum: The Commons
- Topic: Risk
- Replies: 2
- Views: 6780
Re: Risk
Love it and given her history its sexual oveertones/undertones/tones
- Thu Feb 16, 2023 8:46 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Winter Comfort
- Replies: 7
- Views: 2190
Re: Winter Comfort
Great to have you back Indar. I liked most of this. I am agnostic when it comes to words like yum in poems and think Tracy has suggested some good changes to line breaks. I do wonder that the curtains need to be closed. Seems quite alien to the world i live in. But there it is.
- Sun Feb 05, 2023 11:31 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: stuffing
- Replies: 6
- Views: 1661
Re: stuffing
Hey Mark To simplfy communication I will tahnk you here for all the comments. As to continuing to post here, it is because this is my portic home and I like the people I ahev encountered here, not to mention the poetry. I have tried other sites but none of them appealed to me. I ahve not been writin...
- Tue Jan 31, 2023 9:40 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: cradle
- Replies: 2
- Views: 932
cradle
cradle
folded in damp cloth,
in the crook of river's elbow
the found cry, its shrill
vowel pulls apart reeds,
peels history from death
baby curl your own
lone need, your prayer
and birth a nation
as each baby does.
folded in damp cloth,
in the crook of river's elbow
the found cry, its shrill
vowel pulls apart reeds,
peels history from death
baby curl your own
lone need, your prayer
and birth a nation
as each baby does.