The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Thanks for coming back Trish. I'll have a ponder, though the expression is that of the speaker and pitches her 'comfort habit'.

best

Phil

Yes, lovely write T. So heart-warming I feel you could cut from the separateness of observatonal simile to direct metaphor: Their strawberry blonde hair swirled when they were together, as if it were a single burgeoning mass of leaves. The way each stood straight and tall their entire lives, they se...

Thanks P, Sharon, Dave and Trish. Pleased you all found something in this attempt. I could murder a cuppa, I found a little over-familiar The intention was to convey the mundane, though there was a clearer intent to suggest repressed emotions in another version I have so perhaps it is a bit of a lef...

hi Trish, I like the ambition in the imagery, but I'm not quite connecting to the theme. The 'drudgery' listed is rejected for a more 'ardent' life, but then 'serenity' is the opening image? Even the ardent cadavers cemented under glass: entwined lovers, frightened horse, chained dog, have more life...

Thanks for the thumbs up on that G. I wanted that one to work to contrast with the 'binding' of knitting.

best

Phil

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Neatly chained T. Particularly liked people holding to us/like the gravity of dead stars. and that striving toward mirrored bits of sky. 

best

Phil

Hi G.,         A bit like Wren, and despite the disclaimer, my thoughts wandered beyond the lighter moment to that locked-in aspect of N. and father - the not one to mess with. And then to the vulnerability of 'pensioners'. The childhood reference to end on was nicely light, but also nudged to light...

Assume purling is the verb,

Yes, it is Wren. Thank you for that thumbs up on the final line. A dud concluding line can kill the whole poem!

best

Phil

Colm Roe wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 09, 2020 6:13 pm

When I say Heaven I mean the idea of living on an island,
a simple life lived close to nature

Thanks for coming back Colm. Yes, the distinctions between simple and limiting have an individual consequence as are those 'progressions' outside tradition.

best

Phil