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by Trish Saunders
Mon Feb 03, 2020 8:48 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Aspen Sisters
Replies: 8
Views: 1934

Re: Aspen Sisters

Back for a second read! I love the title, Tracy, and the whole poem -- but after second reading, I think it would be improved if you start out with the second stanza? That's really where the poem begins, for me.   Also, I would replace back bedroom with back room, to avoid repetition of "bed" twice ...
by Trish Saunders
Mon Jan 20, 2020 8:29 pm
Forum: Introduce Yourself Here
Topic: Hello, I'm Trish Saunders... from Seattle/Honolulu
Replies: 6
Views: 6418

Re: Hello, I'm Trish Saunders... from Seattle/Honolulu

Thank you, Sharon, glad to be here. 
 
by Trish Saunders
Sat Jan 18, 2020 2:55 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Big Orange Sun
Replies: 13
Views: 2893

Re: Big Orange Sun

Hi, Sharon;  I've received very useful feedback on this poem, including yours, and I'm putting it to use. Thanks for the advice re: woods. I think you're right about that. Warm regards,
Trish 
 
by Trish Saunders
Sat Jan 18, 2020 2:53 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Big Orange Sun
Replies: 13
Views: 2893

Re: Big Orange Sun

Hi Indar, I appreciate all of the fb I've received, it's amazing how much trouble people have gone to and I'm putting it to use. Thank you especially for the advice re: verbs. I"m also rethinking the title. I love Italy (as who does not?) and hope to return to spend a year in so in Rome. (It may be ...
by Trish Saunders
Fri Jan 17, 2020 4:45 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Spectacle of Death
Replies: 18
Views: 2487

Re: Spectacle of Death

Deb, I'm sorry for the loss and for what seems like callous behavior (or at least highly unprofessional behavior) from the funeral directors. I've had the numbing experience of receiving relentless selling pitches and upselling, while you're trying to pick out a coffin...Then I've had the opposite, ...
by Trish Saunders
Fri Jan 17, 2020 6:32 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Island Fiction
Replies: 18
Views: 2745

Re: Island Fiction

"convey the mundane"  - yes, I see that. How to put this? Maybe there is a more original way of expressing mundanity?  
by Trish Saunders
Fri Jan 17, 2020 6:27 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Big Orange Sun
Replies: 13
Views: 2893

Re: Big Orange Sun

Hi Phil,
The serenity is the wished-for life; I think this poem was confusing to some people and it needs some work to make the meaning clearer; or your read just wasn't quite what I had expressed. Thanks for the notes!
Trish
 
by Trish Saunders
Thu Jan 16, 2020 10:36 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Big Orange Sun
Replies: 13
Views: 2893

Re: Big Orange Sun

I see, hmmm, I'll have a think on that, Thanks. 
by Trish Saunders
Thu Jan 16, 2020 9:40 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Big Orange Sun
Replies: 13
Views: 2893

Re: Big Orange Sun

Thank you, Wren, good to see you, as well! I will meet you at the Train Station
 
by Trish Saunders
Thu Jan 16, 2020 8:46 pm
Forum: Introduce Yourself Here
Topic: Hello, I'm Trish Saunders... from Seattle/Honolulu
Replies: 6
Views: 6418

Re: Hello, I'm Trish Saunders... from Seattle/Honolulu

I don't know, I hope it does ... 

I know that bouncing around empties out my checking account pretty quickly, but can't help that!
Thanks, Tracy